Weapons of Self-Doubt Destruction

believe_in_yourself_by_midnightadventures-d4nv4mj

Have you ever had one of those moments?
total silence…alone with your thoughts.
 

not in a negative way, just a random pause where not a single f*ck is being given, by you, at that very precise moment in time, not a single; worry, bother, thought, idea, solution, single damn f*ck is crossing your brain and its just quiet….I had one today I think it may have been an epiphany…

moiI should probably first reintroduce myself to the wordpress community, I am sad to say I have not been posting for a very long time.

Instagram kind of took over a little bit as it was easier to post whilst face deep in pillows, selfieing my new shade of “melted chocolate noir” hair dye that still won’t cover the red I put on it 2 years ago……hey ho we live to find the perfect shade!

I took  a little break from posting, the ‘apocalypse doomsday countdown’ kind of came and went, the world did not blow up into oblivion, and i carried on with life, got on with my new dayjob and it really took over my life.

I made some wonderful new friends, moved to a new home, became an aunty of a now 1 year old superbaby, loved, lost, got two new inked arms, alot happened and i sorta forgot to tell you.

It’s so odd coming back to a blog after such a long time, when you really get into it, start writing it every other day replying to people interested in the same things you are, I almost feel I have been cheating on wordpress it’s awful.  I suppose the reason I came back is that I ticked off a couple of really major ones on my list and at the same time lost my job last week.  I decided it was time to come home.

So now time is no excuse, hopefully I can bake you a macaroni cheese, make some margheritas, sit you all down and have a chit chat, I’ve got so much to tell you and not alot of space to do it in!!!

SO! FIRSTLY…..

When i stopped blogging, I became addicted to Instagram which leads me to my first update section, I’ve always raved about my obsessions here and I certainly have gained some new ones all because of someone I actually first started following here before i got married to my iphone.  When i began reading her blog The Wardrobe Challenge I didn’t have what you would call an ‘image’, in fact before I started writing my blog and reading others on here I didn’t really know much about myself at all really.  Reading Hanna’s posts encouraged me to start looking at myself differently even if that meant  just starting at my wardrobe.

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me...

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me…

It’s no secret to readers of my blog in the past that I suffer from the blues (I hate using the other word it seems so medical to me) but I found that by writing, not necessarily about my feelings but things i enjoyed and reveled in, it gave me a release for those blues, and reading other peoples journeys on here like Hanna’s really helped me to battle alot of self loathing I had felt for a very long time.
Along with the help of my amazing best friend Storm, (yes the superhero disguises are still on! ;P ) and following people like Hanna over this past year has helped me become a new much happier version of myself.

Hannah’s blog The Wardrobe Challenge actually led me to her Instagram blog ‘fattyschallenge’ it was actually through following Hanna that I started some of my new obsessions, instead of reading blogs I took a break and chose the picture books of Instagram.

It was there I found new inspiration in the amazing shapes of my Holy Trinity of Instagram obsessions.

Her Royal Highness, Miss Tess Munster.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I started following Tess through Hanna, I noticed one of her hashtags was…

#effyourbeautystandards.

clicking on the link I discovered this absolute knockout who really drove me to look at myself differently.

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful...

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful…

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

Tess is an amazing woman, not only does she work as a plus size model but she is an insanely awesome mother to the cutest little man around.

She rocks herself, and encourages others to do the same, whatever their size, race, hairstyle or age she encourages you to be happy for you not for others.

#effyourbeautystandards is a signal to stop trying to live up to others unrealistic expectations of how you should live your own life, its yours to live not theirs, if that leather skirt feels good on your body, and that crop makes you feel sexy, WEAR IT.  If your style is different to those around you, don’t hide away and change yourself to fit in, be what makes you happy, be WHO YOU WANT TO BE and be proud to be that.

Tess has opened my eyes to what is possible with my own body,

seeing her beautiful partner’s love for her and who she is shows me that love isn’t just for ‘perfect’ people because my idea of ‘perfect’ was totally distorted, following Tess has made me realise everyone is perfect, every single person that is living their life to the full is perfect and everyone, even me, deserves love.

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Tess pushes the boundaries of my mind and really makes me think about the person I want to be.  I’ve never much thought about my own identity, always been too bothered by “fitting in” that i often put myself on the outside and had the total opposite outcome compared to what i was wishing and praying for.

If you have Instagram, Facebook, the internet any of those things check Tess out even if its just to stare at the beauty herself but read some of her work, see how her presence in peoples lives has truly changed the thoughts and outlook of those people around the world, she saved me from remaining lost and helped me to take ownership of my own identity and not be scared what people will think of me, #effyourbeautystandards and live up to my own instead.

So who is next? Hmmmm, well I did say Holy Trinity didn’t I? so number two would be….

Honor Elizabeth Curves…

Again how do I even begin to describe this woman? this beacon?

What an absolute STAR

What an absolute STAR

this light to so many people…

Honor began another hashtag movement similar to that of Tess’s #effyourbeautystandards.

Honor’s movement #HonorMyCurves is a shoutout to all people, men and women alike to embrace their body at any size, thin and short, tall and large, medium and neither, Honor embraces everything she advocates, she is a 6ft2 pillar of beauty and is never afraid to go for an outfit that challenges her.

Just like Tess, Honor is a woman for the people, I have never posted something to her without a response, she encourages your journey as well as inviting you onto hers.

She’s a runner, and watching her progress through the different runs with her friends and family has been a joy and really made me take a second look at my exercise regime (psst I don’t have one!).

She also writes for SKORCHMagazine, bringing her own

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

individual sense of the world to so many through her writing and instagram posts, Honor really fights for her cause, tooth and nail.

Honor is an Instagram must have, her posts will brighten up your day and when you see how much this girl can run, BUOY!!! you wont want to stay on the sofa wallowing in self pity any longer, my holy trinity of “go getters” especially Honor have made me rethink how I view myself.

I’m not stuck in a hole, I’m not a condition, I’m not a disgrace or a mistake I AM LA LA SIMMS and I am proud to be who I am.  I can only thank these women for what they have done for me without even knowing it.

So, Drumroll please for my third and final woman of self-doubt destruction (I think it will make for a nice new hashtag #weaponofselfdoubtdestruction hmmm) I have definitely saved this person til last for a major reason.  When I first fled to Instagram I stumbled across this amazing woman who gave me a proverbial kick up the ass.  Her story is one of the most amazing versions of weight-loss stories I have ever heard, seen and followed.  Now, I must say I didn’t follow her  due to the fact that she lost weight.  I followed her because her courage, stamina and drive to better her life for the unforseeable future has inspired me.  So I can only bow down to her and introduce someone who has become my Instagram Hero…..

FAT2FLACA… 

A.K.A Janeida, a young, Puerto-Rican, Chicago Diva who underwent a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) on April 25, 2012.  Her journey is incredible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

I started following Janeida at the point where she had had the surgery and was already working out like a boss.  In the short time that i have been following her story I have grown to love her ‘eat clean’ recipes and tips to get started exercising not to lose weight but to be healthy.

Janeida now volunteers free cooking lessons in her local community to spread her message further than her own kitchen.  She also leads dance, exercise and zumba classes to encourage others to feel better about themselves in a safe and comfortable environment.
She’s gone past the point of enriching her own life and has stretched out her hands to the people around her and invited them into the struggle of her story and shown them that they too can make a change.

Her journey has inspired me not to shed the pounds necessarily, but to look at my lifestyle and recognise the unhealthy behaviours that I have managed to stick myself to.
Through Janeida I have found comfort in knowing its a JOURNEY

Beauty comes in all sizes...so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn't.

Beauty comes in all sizes…so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn’t.

you need to be on, nothing happens instantly and nothing happens without hard work and determination to change.
Again I repeat this is not just about losing weight it’s about acceptance.  It’s about fighting the demons of staying the same, staying unhappy, staying put in a cycle that never gives you results.  Make the change to be a better you, a happy you whatever that might mean.

Janeida and her beautiful wife have brought comfort to me over the past months, seeing true love as strong as theirs and the beauty they are as a couple has touched my heart and opened my mind to the idea that Love is a powerful thing and a love like theirs is truly special.

So, that wraps up my return to wordpress post.  

With many more to come and alot of new changes to the site it will take some time but I hope you can share in my Instagram love and shows these ladies some support.  My Holy trinity ‘Weapons of Self-doubt Destruction’ are worth a look and take a stroll round Hanna’s stuff too, she is afterall the reason I continued to follow her own blog and discover these beauties along the way.

Thanks for Reading,

La La Simms

Creepy, Beautiful and Incredibly Amazing…

It’s not often that I come across something creepy that totally astounds me, mind body and soul!  When routing around crappy youtube videos today I stumbled across this totally awful homemade comilation of the Top 20 places to visit in the world, I don’t know what made me watch it but I’m so glad I did.  In clicking this horrifically boring, highly inaccurate (it named the Giant’s Causeway in Ireland “The Stone Pillars” tut tut) and frankly god awful slideshow with the ever depressing Evanescence -Bring me to Life in the background, where was I? yes… In clicking this video I came across what is possibly the best piece of sculptural art I have ever come across in my life.

Jason deCaires Taylor

He is British Yo!!

Truly in my opinion,
the best modern day sculptor. 

Now you may ask, L.J what the hell do you know about sculpture and I will be frank with you my friends, diddly squat!

I know not how you take a lump of coal and fashion it into a beautiful diamond, I know not how to use a whizzing spinnign very sharp blade to delicately carve intricate features, I do however know how to shape a milkshake carton out of blu-tac (thank you duration of my psycholody AS exam!).

I may not be an expert in the art of sculpture but I, as an admirer of art I feel I can tell when someone is displaying true talent and Jason certainly does that!

The majority of his works are mainly in Cancun, staged as the underwater museum called MUSA (Museo Subacuático de Arte) a project founded by Jaime Gonzalez Cano of The National Marine Park, Roberto Diaz of The Cancun Nautical Association and Jason deCaires Taylor, located in the waters surrounding Cancun, Isla Mujeres and Punta Nizuc, now, here comes the clever bit. 

The sculptures are as much entertainment for the scuba divers who flock to the mexican shores as they are a viable environment to sustain and improve the coral reef that resides in the waters.

Jason’s sculptures provide a beautifully clever alternative to the possibility of losing the reefs and act as an artificial reef, encouraging plants, coral and sealife into the otherwise vacant area.

All of Jason’s works really tell a story and get to the heart of us as a modern species, from a couch potato enjoying a snack, to an exact replica of a Vaulkswagen Beetle, all of Jason’s pieces in some way open a doorway to our world that in years to come will be studied and analysed to figure out who we were!

The piece that I find the most awe-inspiring and let’s face it most impressive, is the piece named The Silent Evolution.

403 life sized, TO SCALE, figures.
Occupying 402 square meters of the sea bed, cast from real life humans. 

The spookiest, creepiest yet strangely calming piece of art I have ever come across, it’s effect on me was phenomenol, I honestly could never imagine swimming up to life sized people underwater, like forgotten people. 

Their atmosphere is so quiet, their demeanour so epically strange it honestly took my breath away.

Can you imagine getting lost underwater and coming across this?

Or being in the year 3012 and discovering these figures cloaked in precious coral and protected by creatures of the deep?

…it’s oddly unsettling.

He also has some works here in the UK, in Canterbury none-the-less (totally going to have to take Poison Ivy!!)

His swimming figures again are haunting to me, almost like ghosts, I really cannot work out why his sculptures really freak me out but in such a satisfying way.

I have included lots of pictures of which ALL RIGHTS GO TO JASON DECAIRES TAYLOR.

They are all from his website and I have used them simply because he has the best ones!!

Please check out his website HERE it’s full of information on, the man, the myth, the ARTISTE…

 that is Jason deCaires Taylor and I’ve also added a little video so you can see the work that goes into just one of these sculptures.

Jason really is repping it for the Brits, and just goes to show that with a bit of inginuity we can all do our bit to help this planet out!

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading.

L.J.Simms x

A New Kidd of Addiction…

There’s not many occasions, where I can say that I have been physically, mentally, extra-terrestrially and completely intoxicated by a single human being as much as I am by Vince Kidd.

BEWARE: This Post includes explicit language in beautiful melodies and an inordinate amount of heart pulsing admiration!

At the beautiful age of just 22, Vince Kidd is phenomenal.  Having heard his track ‘Sick Love’ before the premiere of The Voice UK (sadly I had heard it, loved it, just didn’t know who sang it!) I fell in love with his voice first!  His voice is like treacle, black treacle, that drips over barbed wire!  It’s truly a sound to be heard during a thunderstorm, the way his voice licks and curls and melts over his gritted teeth and pouting lips, truly makes me want to hear him, again, and again, and again and again and AGAIN!

When he popped up into my stratosphere again, I was sat on my sofa watching The Voice UK with the fam-a-lam.  Snacking on Hoummus and sipping my OJ and Lemonade (I’m a rockstar don’t kid yourselves!!)  I recognised his voice but it didn’t click in my head that this guy, full of swag and bags of attitude with ripped denim adorning his shoulders and golden spikes defending his fists, was the same guy I had heard days before on my acoustic tour of YouTube.

As Vince went through the blind auditions the ball still hadn’t dropped, although his voice had made it absent mindedly onto my iPod I still had not fitted the two together.  When the battle rounds came on The Voice UK, I heard something in his voice.  I heard this little lick whilst he was singing ‘We Found Love’ noted as one of my upbeat meditation tracks of the moment, It was like a Tsunami hit the back of my head.

My mind raced back as they showed a clip of his blind audition and it hit me, again!!

I’VE HEARD THIS KIDD
(see what I did there)
BEFORE!!

I grabbed my iPod, yes!!! I had heard his rendition of Like a Virgin before, It was him!  The guy who had been luting me to sleep, helping me shout at my ex, encouraged me when partying with the gyals…

I HAD FOUND HIM!!

Then something magical happened.  This week, Mr.Kidd, my only strand holding me onto #TeamJessie, sang an Elvis song.  I (I won’t use hate) strongly dislike the music of Elvis.  I’ve never really been able to appreciate his music and I’ve never had any inclanation to listen to more than a second of any one of his tracks.  Until Vince brought me into his world and with his incredible voice, truly unique look and amazing talent, vince made me not only enjoy but revel in an Elvis song!

This is an interview with Vince that I felt was the most honest and refreshing interview in a long time, he truly has a class and an enormous deal of respect for his career which is evident in this interview…

INTERVIEW WITH VINCE KIDD

So, now I’ve developed this love, this burning love for Vince I have scoured the internet to find all I can for you beautiful people, I want you to find your favourite part of Kidd and revel in his talent like I do.  His voice and attitude are truly something new which is difficult to say in this day and age.  His style may be retro but his being is totally fresh and I wish him all the best of luck in the world.  I hope he wins The Voice UK, but if he doesn’t I hope some big shot music exec pulls their finger out and realises what a talent Kidd truly is, he deserves the world and more!

I shall leave you with one final video and a quote from the man himself.  When I say Kidd has attitude, I don’t mean it in the chain swinging, teeth grilling, pimp out ya granny  kind of way.  I mean attitude as is a fresh way of thinking, a positive attitude that has been lost for a long time in his industry, an attitude I hope and pray he can spread from here to the edge of existence…

“Because I’ve got a very distinctive look, I often get judged for it. But I’m not changing for anyone.”

 Vince

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading…

L.J.Simms x 

How to Lift Your Soul…

Hello Beautiful People

I’VE GOT SO MUCH TO TELL YOU But I must do an ACTUAL post first…so first up I need to say…

Apologies for the absence AGAIN!! I’m a terrible blogger and I deserve punishment, although looking at my stats is punishment enough right now so I have instead decided to pluck up the courage to just say AH WELL SH*T HAPPENS and give you a nice fresh new post, just for you, yes you, I’m talking to YOU!! This is all yours, I hope you enjoy it.

Now as some of you may or may not know I began meditating a few months ago, around the same time that I started this blog.  When I started out I found it so difficult, I had a real problem with staying ‘quiet’.  With my Bucket List, I wanted to try to bring myself some inner peace and start to feel like I was pushing my own life forward.  Now I must insert a small disclaimer here, for anyone reading who has not read before, I’m not religious, at all, I have no interest in religion but in a moment of utter darkness I fell to my knees and felt it was natural to try this meditation malarkey that that woman banged on about in Eat, Pray, Love.

I remember the first time I tried it, I couldn’t sit still.  I kept shuffling and wriggling, I was bugging myself.  I stood up (battling the sitting position convention) I shook my body out like I used to in Drama class, I shook and I shook and I shook till I got pins and needles all over then dropped to my knees again.

‘this isn’t working’

This little voice in my head was driving me mad, I wanted so badly to feel utter peace and calm from the rage inside me but it just wasn’t working.  I laid on my front, literally face down in the carpet.

nothing.

I sat in the ‘typical’ position, legs crossed, hands pinched between finger and thumb.

nothing.

I let out a massive sigh, literally expelling every ounce of air from my lungs and I felt it, a brief billi-second of peace, of silence.  I opened my eyes and fist pumped ‘YES!!’ I looked at every inch of my body studying the position that had allowed me this precious moment of silence.

NOT ATTRACTIVE.

This pose would not win me any princely kisses that’s for sure!  I was sat like a teddy bear sits when they are dropped from a great height.  Slouched and comfortable.  Legs akimbo, arms limply by my side, I leaned up against  a cabinet in my room, and noticed that from where I was sitting, I could see the entire sky, really bright and a deep navy blue, tinted with sparkling stars.  In that moment 4 things came to me, that shaped how I would meditate from here on in.

  1. My ornamental (literally I think it’s made of plastic) Buddha was positioned in a way that I felt she (yes my Buddha is a she, because well, I said so! apologies for any offence caused) so, I felt that she was looking down from my murky windowsill, her stare was washing over me and actually felt very supportive.  Almost like she was saying ‘it’s ok kid, keep at it’, so I always meditate in her shadow.
  2. Night time was the best time to do this.  My house was silent, all I could hear were the distant snores of the Incredibles and the murmur of Batman’s TV.  This was a peaceful time, a magical sort of time that lends itself very nicely, to the calming nature of meditation.
  3. I liked the dark.  I had started this little experiment without realising it, in the pitch dark.  The only light was coming from the moon and stars, it made me feel all philosophical and poignant.  It made me focus, eventually, allowing me to block out the stuff around me.
  4. I DON’T SHUT UP!  This really got on my nerves, I just cannot not think, it’s infuriating.  So I decided to use it to my advantage and I found myself singing in my head.  I would do my breathing exercises, focusing in my mind on different places in my body (called chakras or something!) and I would sing in my head.  Whatever came to mind.

This is the official guide to your Chakras, I just work my way around the body, but this is here just incase you really wanted to know 🙂

I don’t meditate every day.  I feel that takes the effectiveness out of it for me.  I meditate when I feel I need to.  When I need to bring myself some peace, or just need some time to myself I find meditation surrounds me in a little bubble where I can be entirely alone for a little while.

Your probably wondering, so this is called HOW TO LIFT YOUR SOUL…..Well……how do I? right??

Well I have created a mini playlist just for you, of the songs that I turn to when meditating, I have a playlist of every single song I have ever thought of whilst meditating but here are the top 6 that are truly my favourites!  I hope you enjoy and if you don’t already I’d suggest meditation to anyone at all, but my advice would be DO IT YOUR OWN WAY.  Don’t ever feel like you’re doing it wrong, find your own path and be your own person.  Do what’s best for you!

P.S  Yes you will hear a theme with the songs, they represent my favourite music I think, the music that truly settles my soul, some are covers, and some are weird, and some will have you thinking REALLY?? YOU MEDITATE TO THIS?!?! Well, I hope you enjoy 🙂

This girl is just amazing, Kina Grannis is still in the shadows over in England, but in America and around the world she IS a superstar.  Her voice is like warm honey!  This is my favourite cover of hers.  I’m not really a Taylor swift fan, this cover brought me round and Kina really has found a song that suits her beautiful voice!

This kid is Cameron Mitchell.  His covers are awesome!! As a recent fan of Coldplay and I bit of a nerd for covers I searched around and I found that I loved this version much more than the Coldplay version.  Sorry Coldplay.  This song has always served me well in meditation as it’s quite upbeat and speeds up my breathing!

I always turn to Ed Sheeran.  In times of utter happiness and utter despair, Ed Sheeran always gets played no matter what.  I’ve loved Ed’s music since the moment I first heard him on SBTV in my mates bedroom, Iron Man demanded I listened to it and sat me down.  I was blown away by every second of Ed’s performance.  This song in particular calms me down a lot because well 1. it’s a beautiful song and 2.  Rupert Grint is in it and let’s face it, I’ve been a Weasley lover since I was 13!!

When I’m feeling like I need to really concentrate, Lior’s album always comes to mind.  All of his songs, upbeat or more relaxed always bring me to a place that is pensive and peaceful.  This song is called Bedouin Song, it really shows off Lior’s Israeli roots.  I first saw Lior at WOMAD festival years ago and since have followed him avidly!

Now, you’re probably thinking, REALLY???!!! a Rihanna dance track?? WTF?!?!  This song came to me one night when I was in a really bad place.  The fast beat allowed me to move my body in a fast way to release anger and tension whilst the softer lyrics encouraged my breathing to be much slower, it had a strange effect making me feel revitalised and relaxed all at the same time like I had just been boxing crossed with floating on my back in a freezing cold pool!  It was awesome!  This song taught me not to try to box in my meditation, it taught me to ALWAYS let it all come naturally.

Adam Pluse came onto my radar a few weeks back and has already creeped into my meditation periphery.  This version (yes it is a cover) of Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia honestly rocks my sensual world, I sit imagining the beefy drops in the original version then get lifted away by the lute-ing guitar.  Adam has a unique way of playing the guitar which just increases it’s awesome-ness.

So there you have it, my 6 songs to lift your soul.  I hope this encourages you to try meditation, and to try it your own way.  Nothing in this life is ‘normal’, here is a quote from The Thing, it was his status today and it made me feel really happy…

“We all strive to be “normal” or compare ourselves to “normal” people. We are told it is a common behavior or a trend as though there is one code of conduct and we have an inherent urge to comply. The main objection is that we all have different ideas of what “normal” is. What we each perceive as “normal” differs because it is a personal projection of how we feel we ought to live our lives. It should never be exposed to external influences. Conduct yourself by your own standards not others.”

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading…

L.J.Simms x

are You Easy like a Sunday morning?

Hello to all and any readers out there who have joined me and all the others on WordPress today.  I’ve started to notice recently, that I really am turning into middle-aged TwentySomething.  Sundays, are fast becoming my favouritest of days [used to be Thursdays], wherein I bask in the enjoyment of fruitless activities and feel somewhat like I want to live in a Beatrix Potter book.

In this new year, I have seen an enormous change in many aspects of my life, the broody nature to find your own nest and start to command your own life starts by ‘liking Sundays’.  Instead of Sundays always being the day of ‘oh shit’s ‘ouch my head’s and ‘oh fuck I’ve got so much to finish’s’es’sss [never know how to finish that!].  Sundays develop into a new creature altogether; you tend not to mind when you’re woken before 10am, in fact it becomes quite nice to watch TV in bed with the blinds Open, which, having always been a lock down affair is rather refreshing for me.

Sundays become a day of intrigue, a day for exploring.  The Incredibles like to do gardening, yomping [bit like rambling with more of a stomp] and tinkering, oh! and throw in a Grand Prix or 2.  Batman is still in the ‘Sundays are for hiding’ club usually joined by a hung over Robin sleeping somewhere dark and quiet.  Me, I’m in the exploring stage, where I don’t really want to do anything, but I’ve got to do something, so I like to discover information;  new things, funny things, serious things and exciting things.  But, I want to be inside a Beatrix Potter book to do it.

Now don’t say I’m mad, but Sundays right now, for me, are so evocative of the bright springtime scenes Beatrix Potter wrote about.  A cute little watermill cottage surrounded by forest and fields, with dusky pink roses growing over the door.  I wish I had a little English den to call my own, where my writing room would overlook the steady stream that flows from the mill, the wildlife and springtime scent in the air.

Sunday’s are quintessentially English to me, the demeanor of a Sunday is hardly like a New Yorker, no, no way, they are definitely Monday’s, with their passion and beautiful brash-ness, New Yorkers couldn’t and wouldn’t be a sunday.  And I mean, well, a Parisian would always be a Wednesday afternoon, there’s something magical, almost imaginary about a Wednesday afternoon we often pass it off, but to be in Paris on a Wednesday afternoon, well, you would stay out all night.

And this is, if I’m honest why Sundays are just so English.  They are over polite, full of all the boring bits the rest of the week doesn’t want, they are slow and uneventful, and in many ways entirely pointless once detached from all the other bits that make is a ‘Week’.  But therein lies the beauty of a Sunday and in a way England too.

A Sunday is a mish-mash day, where everything and, in a lot of places, everyone, gets together and celebrates something or other.  Sundays are a day when you relaxing-ly work, having to have something to ‘occupy our time’.  Sundays are a day that the majority of people actually for once all do the exact same thing, for on a Sunday, young old, black, white, posh, not, working, unemployed, educated, not….the majority of us on a Sunday morning, will be laying in bed, in pyjamas, or not, exuding that same sigh of ‘aaaaah, Sunday’.  Once this happens to you, once you first become aware of the happy Sunday Sigh, you too, have become ‘easy like a sunday morning’, join the community my friends you just had a Lionel moment, you are truly blessed!

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

Here Comes the Sun, Do-Dun-Do-Do…

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter …
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here”

. . . . . . . . . Sun is Shining. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .Weather is sweet. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . Makes ya wanna move. . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . Ya dancin’ feet . . . . . .  . . . . . . .

The COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER has already begun, but recently us Brits have been having a test run.  With average temperatures reaching 23C in some places this past week, we have been livin’it up and basquing in the sunshine before the clouds rain and SNOW arrive next week.  With this in mind, and friends down this weekend it got me to thinking about all the things I love about summertime.  Now I’m a self confessed Fall/Autumn Bird!! I love big chunky knits, scarves, hats, jumpers, big thick jeans and my Ugg boots.  I’m not a massive fan of sun dresses and an awful lack of wooly tights!!

Although my moaning suggests I hate every single thing about the summer, there is an awful lot that I actually love about the summer months that I’m going to share with all of you today!…

♥ WATERMELON ♥

Oh my b-jeseee-juu-juuu-juicee!!..I LOVE WATERMELON, but I can only eat in in summer, fresh chopped up it’s refreshing as icy cool air and packs serious punches in smoothies and sorbets!! Classic contender for fruit salads and cocktail fish bowls all summer long, crack one of these out at a BBQ and no one will be complaining.

♥ NO SHOES ♥

Yes you heard me correct, I’m a no shoes girlie!! Some people find it weird, me? I love it!! No socks, crack out the old pedicure set, get buffing and polishing and get them little piggies out for all to see.  There is nothing better than wiggling your naked little toes in fresh mown grass, clean dusty sand or the cold water of the pond!

♥ SWIMMING [and floating] ♥

I love pools in the summer, going swimming in the winter always feels useless to me, you get in cold, you get out freezing, and wet, now you go out to your car and your frozen, icy, and still cold.  In the summer you get out the pool on holiday and the warm sun dries your skin gently, as your arm gets some much needed exercise lifting that 4th Mojito up and down and up and down, it’s the perfect exercise routine during those short lived summer moments.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ SUMMER ROMANCES ♥ ♥ ♥

Aren’t they just the best?  The rush of sneaking around, being cheeky, finding that magical someone on holiday who totally gets you and then the inevitable tragedy of returning to grey and stormy Britain and sitting by your window rembering how he sang that last song to you at Karaoke and the whole crowd at Butlin’s totally loved it!  He’s not your ‘usual’ type, but Ibiza helped you find him.  You wouldn’t normally ‘date’ a guy called Bertie, but the Gran Canaries allowed you to see past a name.  And you would NEVER sleep with a guy on a first date, but in Zante, every bar is a different date rightt???? well then we’ve been on 7!

Summer romance is the best, totally guilt free possibly teenage soul destroyingly beautiful romance!!

 ♥ GARDEN PARTIES ♥

 Oh my crystal balls, I love garden parties…paper plates, paper lanterns, paper cups, paper streamers, paper napkins Maybe it’s just the paper I like??  No, seriously, the atmosphere of a garden party, especially a British Garden Party is second to none!! Crack out the cider, get the sausage rolls sorted and bang on some Bob Marley, and summer has arrived!! Making sure there is sufficient cover from baking sun and nasty clouds and popping up fairy lights to lighten the dark when the sun comes down but the party continues!!  Eating Al Fresco, and having water fights in the summer sun! Marvellous!

 

NOW, NEXT UP IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SUMMER PLACES!

♥ BRIGHTON ♥

Brighton is one of those places that excites me as soon as I see the first sign for Lewes from Tunbridge Wells.  When me and Wonder Woman, are racing down the motorway knowing when we get there, the arcades are calling, the doughnuts are frying, the chips are being chipper and the lanes are calling us in with their lilting magic.  Brighton is the perfect summer place to be, especially in the lanes.  You feel like your in a different world when your shopping down there, with a smoothie in one hand and a bespoke cookie in the other you can be there for hours, then skipping down onto the sunsetted beach watching the old wreck drift off to sleep as the new pier comes alive with swirling rides and flashing lights, oh to be a Brighton Dweller…

 ♥ P.Y.O ♥

Being a Kentish girl, nothing excites me more than when the Pick Your Own signs start to pop up around the county.  The workers start to set up little stalls in the local laybys selling the freshest strawberries, raspberries and cherries that money can buy.  All the fruit that’s not ‘perfect’ enough for Tescos and the like, come straight into our homes down here in Kent and we are lucky lucky lucky!!  Kentish Strawberries, need no sugar, no cream NOTHING, just a bag filled to the brim and my own hand for picking them up and I’m in heaven!  

♥PIMMS’O’CLOCK♥

This is a magical time of day.  You don’t know about it?  Really?  Well let me tell you all about it.  Pimms’o’clock is a magical time of day where it becomes totally acceptable to start drinking large pitchers of this fabulously summery aperitif!  If you’ve never had pimms you gotts try it especially in the summer.  Top a large amounth up with lemonade and ramm it full of cucumber, mint, strawberries and oranges tonnes of ice and enjoy!!  The simplest, easiest way to get nicely merry on a summer’s eve!

~♥~ HOT AIR BALLOONS ~♥~

When I was a child, my Grampy and my Mum used to take me to a Balloon festival every other year or so.  It used to amaze me the different shapes, sizes, being able to see them so close fireing up the fires and filling the vast canopies with hot thick air, the basket gently lifting off the flattened grass and the excited passengers leaping inside.  When I see a Hot Air Balloon, I instantly drift of to being in the back of my Grampy’s car, driving somewhere and spotting one out the window in a dusky light driving back from my Great-Grandparents house.  I would see the balloon and tell my Gramps who would tell me to follow it till it flies over the bump…[the bump being the horizon]….they were always so fun to watch and track across the skies, a lovely summery memory!!

♥ DRESSING LIKE A HIPPY ‘COS IT’S FASHION ♥

I love this about Summer.  Now my Mumma dresses like a hippy all year round, me, I have to restrict it to the summertime, when the boho shades and long beach dusted hairstyles come back in.  The giant canvas bags, the calming pastels set against the bright whites and mellow taupes.  SUMMER comes alive in fashion and it’s the one time of year I find myself really having to FIND things to wear, but I love it, I buy a few key pieces and just mix’em’up Gok Wan stylee!!

One of the places where this one becomes like no other, and I dress only for comfort and comfort alone and that is…

♥ WOMAD ♥ 

The Womad festival is in this country for a mere 5 days at the end of July and everytime I’m getting ready to go, come rain or shine I know summer has well and truly begun!  This is the Siam Tent at Womad, it is beyond describing, nothing like eating hot churros in here!!

 ♥ BBQ’S BAYBEE ♥

Ain’t nothing summery without a BBQ!  I love to be inventive with my BBQs though, I love doing my chicken wings and burgers and hotdogs etc, but I love going to town and doing seafood skewers, lamb koftas, ribs, corn on the cob, baked potatoes stuffed with cream cheese and chives, my world famous potato salad, and my legendary Guacamole courtesy of my awesome cousin in Minneapolis!

Remember, BBQ’s ain’t nothing without BEER!

♥ROADTRIPPING♥

Is there anything better.  Than, jumping out of bed and packing a bag, stuffing it full of random mismatched clothes, grabbing a bottle of pop from the shop and leaping into a friend’s car and going for a drive?  To the  beach, to the park, to the lakes, to the forest, to…anywhere really!!

 FREEZE-POPS AND ICE-CREAM ♥ 

When it’s really hot, like so hot that you forget about wearing make up, you pull all your hair on top of your head so nothing touches your skin, you wear the lightest cotton clothes and the thinnest sandals and its just super hot.  Can you remember what it’s like, to open that freezer unit chocca-block full of ice cream and freezepops and ice lollies….It’s heaven!  I think my favourites HAD to be mini-milks! never chocolate always vanilla or strawberry!  When I remember them, they were the perfect combo of creamy ice cream and a freeze pop, they were 15p back in the day and totally AWESOME!

♥ SHADY PLACES AND SUNSET ♥ 

There’s a certain smell at this time of day in the summer.  It’s almost hazy, like plants and sea air and forests all mixed into one.  Like the random smell when a ladybird lands on your cheek, sorta mixed with the smell of hot rain on the tarmac, and a lingering of firewood.  Shady places under trees and next to walls are always interesting, little lines of ants making their way to the picnics, flowers growing in the cracks of walls and tiny birds taking a restful nap in the trees.

♥ MASSIVE SUNGLASSES ♥ 

AWESOME FASHION!! LOVE THEM!! Theres alot of aspects of summer that you kind of want to hide from teh rest of the world.  Big baggy eyes where you partied really hard at the weekend, sunburnt cheeks from the beach trip with the girls, peeling forehead where you caught the sun a bit too much, last night’s makeup up after a cheeky little flingo!!

 ♥ ICED TEA…………
……..Iced Tea……….
…………..ICED TEA ♥

My mum and I have a slight obsession with Iced Tea.  1.  It has to be LIPTON! 2. Mango sucks, Peach is okay, Lemon is the best.  3.  It must be served in a stemmed glass almost like a very large brandy glass, with lots of Ice, a Straw and by a delightful belgian waiter at Café De La Paix in Poperinge Belgium.  If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and this combination quite simply will never be broke!!  Oh, and a stay at Talbot House is always best.

♥ MEADOWS, GARDENS AND OTHER GREEN STUFF ♥

I’m not much of a countryside person, for someone who essentially lives in the countryside.  I’m not a fan of bugs, I don’t like walking through fields and I hate the idea of being chased by a fox or other wildlife.  When summer hits town, I love going out with my brother for long walks around the raspberry fields and through the woods, it’s always a laugh and when we go with Wonder Woman and Ruby the dog it’s so funny watching her want to sprint off whilst we are all lagging behind!

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST..

The best thing about summer??  The ultimate most awesome thing about a few random weeks of patchy sunshine, searing heat then freezing rain?? What I hear you scream is the best thing about an english summer???  It’s the people!  It’s being on the beach flying kites, it’s yelling at the outside tv’s that aren’t loud enough over the roar of the fans drinking outside whilst the pub stays silent, it’s clubbing with your mates and coming home to daylight at 5am, It’s helping your step-gran out at the local church fete, making cakes and treats to be served with tea, it’s the refreshing taste of orange squash after hating it all winter and enjoying it in massive jugs after a mammoth water fight….Summer, sun, long days, and longer weeks make for an amazing summer, and it’s the people that make it, nothing else matter’s really.

Hope you enjoyed this,

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms ♥

Bucket List Update…

Well hello my darling’s welcome to April!! Sorry I’m late, had a bit of a busy weekend celebrating my delayed birthday with friends from up and down the country!! Had an amazing time and really pushed the limit to what these old bones can withstand!  It was brilliant to be around old friends again and to have cuddles that I have missed for years now!

IT’S A BUCKET LIST UPDATE!!!!

Haven’t had one of these for a while so here goes.  I can now cross off, another 3 possibly 4 of my items on the apocalypse bucket list.  Now, for some new readers who may not have made it over to my Bucket list page yet I shall give a quick and brief description about my project.

THE APOCALYPSE BUCKET LIST

It has been foretold by the Mayans that this year shall be the end of time, with an apocalyptic end to arrive on the 21st December this year.  Now being a depression sufferer, and not wanting to be medicated for it, I sought out a task to become my therapy and this is it my friends!  I blog.  Most weeks.  And, what started out as a completely different monster, has, I feel grown into somethign that I have began to cherish.  The original idea was to create a sensible, achieveable Bucket List, on a budget of NOTHING, without a job, my own home or the means to travel the world, I would create a list of things that I wanted to achieve before the world goes KABOOM.  Now, my list of things may seem stupid, or meaningless, but they are all things that I have decided on the spot, If I die in december I want to have done this first.

Now, there are many people out there who will say, well why isn’t this on your list, and ‘you should go skydiving’ and ‘you need to go to this place in the outbacks of thailand’…that wasn’t what my list was about, it is more personal than that, it’s more about people than places it’s more about enlightening than extravagance.  It’s my own little list, that if I manage to achieve all the items on it, I will party like it’s 1994 on the apocalyptic eve and welcome it knowing I have done my best to make myself proud.

SO WHAT AM I CROSSING OFF????

Well, there have been a few crossing offs, a few projects started and a few yet to come.  I am proud to be taking down 3 possibly even 4 today!!

  1. “6. To document the oncoming year. (AND STICK TO DOING IT).”
  2. “22. To Skype The Thing more.”
  3. “11. Attend the Womad 30th Anniversary.”
  4. “31.  To attend Goldie Reed’s Single Launch.”SH*T NO 5 ITEMS!!!!
  5. “32. Get a small tattoo. [Stop being a wimp about it.]”

SO LET ME EXPLAIN…

I have reached my 3 month mark here at wordpress,  I have been documenting at least once a week for the past three months and have never been happier.  In January, 131 people read my blog and I nearly wet myself! In February I spat out a whole cup of coffee when I saw that 172 people had read my blog, this month I have been entirely stunned that 1,418 people have read my blog.  So crossing off number #6 was something I loved doing, because I have stuck to something that I have tried before and failed miserably at (that’s right I have had 3 other blogs all went tits up quicker than me in the ocean!)

#22 was a difficult one for me to cross off because myself and the thing are TERRIBLE communicators.  He works all the hours in a day and I well ermmm, don’t…because I’m a bum.  This means he is awak at stupid o clock when I am far far away sleeping like a bear!  Although, we managed to actually organise seeing each other and for the first time in over a year I was able to squidgly cuddle him once again.  This chance meeting has improved our texting and call accepting abilities so I feel that my #22 should have been communicate more instead of skype more!!

#11, I shall only say that this is HAPPENING!!!! and it is goign to be immense I believe the tickets have been booked now all I have to do is wait!! 🙂

#31 This event was amazing, Goldie Reed are a band of my friends.  The drummer and The Guitar ace both played at my 18th birthday and the Lead Singer is the Guitarists Girlfriend and she is out of this world, I have known them for years, and I ended up attending the launch with my entire family to celebrate me and the step dad’s birthdays!!

#32….OOOOSH! BIG DRUMROLL PLEASE……..

Yes I am getting my first tattoo next tuesday! with CatWoman and Squiddly, next tuesday, tattoo, tuesday, cat, squid

*passed out*

OKAY!

YES I AM GETTING MY FIRST EVER TATTOO

in Brighton

next tuesday

and I will be revealing the design (nothing extravagent but very meaningful) next week whilst I’m having it done, I might take a video and post it up here for y’all to see a bucket list item in action 🙂

So that’s it, not a massively amazing, socio economic, world stopping, death defying post but one that I hope will warm your hearts and get you writing your own Apocalypse Bucket List, if you do let me know, I’d love to read them!

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

The Truth is out there, Secret Service is really The Ministry of Magic…

WELL BUGGAR ME…It turns out that J.K.Rowling was the paperback version of wikileaks!  As I was surfing the net today I found this intrigueing article which suggest that the Ministry of Magic is real, not only that potter fans, but the dark arts are here as well!

I was casually surfing the news net as I do on friday afternoons and I came across an item that stopped me dead in my tracks.  First of all the tragic nature of the article but also the extraordinary content of the article itself.  [found here

I have been a Harry Potter fan since I was first given one of the books in about 2003-04ish.  The experience of reading Harry Potter, is one I shall treasure for many years, and hopefully one day pass onto any future generations of Simms’.  There was never a moment that went by where I didn’t wish to one day find out the veil between the muggle and wizarding world would shatter and I would be chosen to go to Hogwarts on an exchange program.  The beautiful imagery by Queen Rowling made that fantasy so easy growing up, waiting for that next book like a window into this secret world that could oh so possibly be possibly maybe real…possibly….maybe?  Well it seems the fantasy and ‘magic’ may have been lost from that dream of mine after stumbling upon this tragic article on the BBC news website…

Today on 30th March 2012 [I’m aware very close to April fool’s day, so if this turns out to be a prank I FOUND IT FIRST] I read this article which stated…

“An MI6 officer whose body was found in a holdall may have been killed by an agent “specialising in the dark arts of the secret services”, a court heard.”

[ cited: here ]

The victim, Gareth Williams was found in horrific circumstances at the age of 31.  His body was found inside a locked holdall, yet strangely there was no evidence, DNA or otherwise to suggest that someone had locked him into it, which has raised suspicions as to how the victim came to be there in the first place.  The whole story is strange after stranger, there was no evidence at Gareth’s apartment in Pinlico, London, no evidence what so ever of Gareth’s existence in the apartment he resided in alone.

It has been suggested that evidence may have been removed by a seriously intelligent person/group of people, including a statement from laywer Anthony O’toole that suggests something entirely unexpected may have been at the root of the investigation…

He said: “The impression of the family is that the unknown third party was a member of some agency specialising in the dark arts of the secret services – or evidence has been removed post-mortem by experts in the dark arts.”. . .

Does this prove a possible link between our government and a higher one?  Are we truly being taken for utter mug(gle)s?

I have an opinion on politics that may not sit lightly with many people, and if I did live in America I would probably be silenced very quickly.  I don’t get involved in political protest, I don’t even vote.  [I can hear the crowd with pitchforks and the boo’s already!]  I feel it would be hypocritical of myself, to vote for any system that I do not believe in or respect.  I find government to be based on false promises and a bed of conceated lies.  I think the world leaders are entirely out of touch with the true nature of their people, and I think there is more than a small amount of information that is kept from the populations of every country on this planet.

I do believe in conspiracy theories.

And I do still get shocked when articles like this one arise from the ashes and are kept tucked into the back alley’s of our news feeds, left to trend on twitter and fizzle out in an ever moving society.  This gentleman worked for MI6, CIA-esque bullsh*t in my opinion.  His killer has still not been found.  Does he not deserve justice?  Does he not deserve Rest.In.Peace above his head instead of Unknown.Killer?

It’s articles like this that encourage me to stay behind the bright lights, in the shadows…because I have no idea what goes on in the world of the well lit.  it’s almost like there are 2 worlds, both real but only one realistic, the other is a dream world played by men [and women] who maybe watched a few too many Bond films as kids…

My condolences go out to Gareth’s family if your out there and I put it to you…are we really muggles?  Is there a Ministry of Magic, and do we really know what is going on on this planet, or should we just Keep Calm and Carry on?

Personally, I have the tin foil hats ready for the invasion, the concrete underground bunker for the zombies, My fake death eater stick on tattoo for when Voldemort comes a knocking, and a speech prepared for the day I get to say ‘I Told You So’…

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

This is My Confession…

I have a deep and very dark secret, one which I have never told anybody, I feel this secret is eating me up inside and I must let it out before it dissolves my very soul.  I have an addiction, it is a serious addiction for which I feel I may need some form of rehab for.  Now this addiction renders me completely stupid, I have no way of stopping once I have started, i’m too scared to admit this secret addiction to my family and even my friends.  I am so terrified that they will think ill of me once they know that I am keeping this secret shut off from the entire world.  So if I tell you, you have to promise to keep it to yourself, you can’t tell anyone okay because they may get the police involved and I mean, it’s a serious crime what I do, it endangers not only myself but anyone who is around me when I am doing it….

Get your pointing fingers and laughing faces ready...

Hello, my name is L.J.Simms and I am a Song Mimer.

Wow, it feels so good to finally tell someone, I have a terrible habit  of miming/acting songs when I sing them.  It can evolve into a full on scene with myself and anything I can get involved.  I have slowdanced with a giant teddy named adgar who lives in my wardrobe [not a hallucination] I have broken up with beautiful men [still not a hallucination] and I have had sexually tense encounters with Drake [certainly a hallucination].

It’s terrible, I struggle to stop myself from doing it, sat in the car with my mum and I have to look in the window as I mouth and mime the emotive background of the song, it builds up like a bubbling volcano til it’s at gale-force 9 and I’m full on scream singing and acting out the entire song.

It all started a few years back, when I first started to really get into music, I had an awful break up with a boy from my youth [i’m now actually INTO my 20’s so can say ‘in my youth’] and I went straight home and listened to Simple Plan’s album.  I lay on my bed and I listened to the words and through my tears and teenage pain I started singing along whilst ripping up all the photos I had stuck underneath the shelf above my bed. [again I was YOUNG] In that moment I started picturing him in front of me and starting singing the song as if it was towards him, picturing how it would seem if I sang this song to him, directly, like really in his face…

This first encounter with Song miming was only the start, as my music taste developed and in turn my relationships took different paths both personal and professional I found that I started to develop my addiction, I started craving the rush of full scale dramatic enactments of songs, the buzz when the songs finishes and your left with a surge of energy and power.  I then moved onto the harder stuff, the more intense songs, I started getting into different kinds of music and exploring my taste for the more exotic music, this was a time in my life where I was out of control, and only really deep music could quench my thirst.  I started getting into rap and hip hop, I was an entry level offender but I found that I  could target my mimes towards imaginary people by this point, like the imaginary ‘other girls’ my next ex was seeing behind my back [p.s they weren’t imaginary I caught you dumbass!!]…

Once I had entered the gateway songs, it was downhill from then on, I found my niche, I found where I was most comfortable, I discovered pop songs.  Not my usual forray of musical choice (I’m more of an acoustic guitar and thoughtful lyrics kind of girl) but none the less it served a purpose, I started to crave a new song to mime to, I would listen to the music charts and when I had a chance to go to my friend’s house who had…SKY CABLE TELEVISION, where I could watch music videos, the latest ones and hear songs straight away I was totally hooked I would say this was when I hit rock bottom, this is where I can honestly say I truly became an addict to the drug of song…

Once at University I tried detoxing, I went through alot of experimentation and found music that allowed me the comfort not to mime.  I started clubbing alot more which meant that music became something I listened to whilst shouting and screaming and dancing so the focus was taken away from miming, I still mimed a bit at home on my own, but not as much as I did before.  I felt that I was starting to get a hold on my addiction and it was really getting good again, I started dating Superman [grrr,GRUMBLE,grr,grrrrr,GRRrrrhatehimGRrrr] and life was rosy, I left Uni and moved back home, travelled to Minnesota [GO GO VIKINGS LETS GO!] and on my return found a job and all was hunky dory.  Or so I thought.  My break up with Superman was cataclysmic, and I found myself back, deep in the arms of song miming, my only comfort from the wayward men of england.  I was back to my bedroom mirror and my hairbrush, the most basic of tools for the miming addict, the body language and cursed expressions once again reared their ugly heads and I was back in full swing…

Since then I have been on the road to recovery, it’s tough really tough but I’m glad I can share my secret with you, and only you, remember don’t tell anyone okay? I feel I’m back to health now and I only occasionally binge on 1 or 2 songs a month but when I catch myself out I make sure I follow the 12 steps……..over to my iPod and change the song.  I hope my admition to such tragiv addiction can help others out there to stand up and proudly declare that they too are a song mimer, and maybe one day there will be places for us all, where we can stand proud and song mime together so this addiction may become a way of life for all.  Until that day comes, I will keep strong and only limit myself to one weekend a month where I am allowed to explore my inner mimer just like Emma Stone…

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading 😛

L.J xx

Versatile Blogger Award

THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD

 
Oooh I feel all goosepimply and special! Thank you so much to CatBird, accepting this gracefully I would like to say a few little words for this wonderful woman! 
 
I first started my blog as a coping mechanism, I have suffered with what can only be described as depression but due to my unwillingness to take prescription medication I wanted to find a healthier and better (for me) way of coping and dealing with my mind. 
 
When I first started I thought no-one would read what I had to write, and I was okay with that, but when I received my frist comment that wasn’t in the spam folder which i convinced myself was real mail haha, it was from catbird.  In my short 3 months as a blogger she has taught me that my blog is my own and no matter what I post, big or small I should find the beauty in all things. 
 
 
On Catbird’s blog she states that she has a ‘photography blog yet she is not a photographer’ it is this beautiful quote that first made me respect her as a blogger and follow her posts religiously, although we like to say pie-giously! Please take some time out to check out her blog and I hope you enjoy her as much as I do… 

SO ONTO THE AWARD RULES AND REGULATIONS!!

  1. You must state and link your Nominator. [done √ ]
  2. You must tell everyone 7 things about yourself.
  3. You must nominate 15 Blogs and let them know

7 THINGS ABOUT ME THAT I BET YOUR DYING TO KNOW *sarcastic face*

  1. I have an overwhelming love for button mushrooms.  No fancy pancy special mushrooms, just normal every day button mushrooms, I bloody love them.
  2. I have an obsession with American tv and the list is as follows…
    – Supernatural
    – Criminal Minds
    – Glee
    – Alphas
    – Warehouse 13
    – Desperate Housewives
    – Big Bang Theory
    – Haven
    – Ringer
    – Heroes
    – American Horror Story
    and many many many many more, I’m a TV freak
  3. I enjoy listening to music in bed.
  4. I have a kings size duvet on a double bed and I have a grand total of 21 pillows.
  5. I’m terrified of spiders, heights, failure and never being loved.
  6. I love to cook mexican food and make amazing Guacamole.
  7. My biggest wish right now would be to be asked to write  a book and actually get paid to write it, or be asked to act on Eastenders, OR get an apprenticeship as a cake decorator.

AND FINALLY TO THE NOMINATIONS… 

THE BOOK OF ALICE

Amazing Sh*t my Kid Says blog, this blog is a recent discovery of mine but has me in stiches every single time I read it, I love that Alice is so Candid and I feel like I am learnng with her through her mother’s eyes, absolutely fantastic.

THE THREE BALLADEERS

Storytelling blog that is working through the world’s myths one by one.  Sometimes not always in english but an awesome blgo none-the-less!

POOR GIRL RICH TASTE

Upcycling fashion blog that has inspired me no end to take what I don’t like and change it, alter it, mix it up a little and not to expect everything stylish to come at a price!

DOODLES, DABBLES & DREAMS

Fantastic crafts and creations, I simply LOVE LOVE LOVE.

HEY BERNICE!

Awesome blogger, food, crafts, creations left right and center.  Sassy with class and wit, and some really fantastic ideas that I can’t wait to start trying.

ON.MY.YELLOW.PLATE

Food blogger who I adore, every item of food looks REAL and not made just for the photograph, I appreciate her experimentation and just love her recipes!!

MEGAN GNEKOW

Artist, who has influenced the feminity of my tattoo design!! just so talented and delicate of hand with an eye for beautiful art and drawings!

SIGNED VIOLET

Plus size blogger, who has settled in my plus size heart.  Such exuberence and confidence, I love her blog and take comfort in reading it.

THE WARDROBE CHALLENGE

Truly inspirational fashion blogger! This girl has such style, I love to sit down with a coffee and see what she has put together next, I love that she has beautiful style and isn’t afraid to show it to the world!

GOOD FOOD, GOOD MEAT

Great alternative recipes and ways to stay healthy.

HOW I WASTE TIME

Interior design blog that I happily waste SOOOOOO much time reading through old archive posts and delving into the blog deeper and deeper.

LIKE A MUSTARD SEED

Herbal fix’ems, remedies and things that if I ever wonder hmmm, I wonder if that would work, this is where I go first before I even search google I search this blog! AWESOME.

KEEP CALM IT’S JUST A BLOG

actor, designer, ponderer…will you marry me?

SHORT IS THE NEW BLACK

Beauty blog that I adore, 10 times better than reading a magazine this woman has her finger on every pulse going, great style and great blog!! love it!

RIZBANGER

Illustration blogger who has neatly become my favourite illustrator, truly beautiful pieces of work that I love to look at and enjoy every post on this blog!

WELL THAT’S IT KITTY-KATS!!

Muchos Love and I hope you keep passing this award on to brighten other people’s days!
HAPPY BLOGGING, CHEERS FOR READING,

L.J.Simms x

Birthday Schm-irthday…

This weekend, I turned 23, I have lived through 23 years and although alot of people older than myself would say “ahhh that’s nothing kiddo”, to me it’s starting to feel alot like I’m now sprinting towards middle age…

Age has never really meant that much to me, personally, with friends, in relationships.  I have been brought up socialising with such a diverse range of people that Age has never been anything more than a number to me.  When I turned 16, I felt like I had hit the big time, I was 16 and there was nothing you can do about it *insert tongue sticking out here*.

I got that overwhelming urge to go out and ‘make the most’ of my night out, you took your birthday in your stride at 16, you were happy to be having another birthday ‘HELL YEAH IT’S MY BIRTHDAY PEOPLES’.  When I turned 18 it was a similar feeling, I had a huge party and everybody came out to celebrate that I had turned into a woman, my family my friends, we all rejoiced with an insane amount of alcohol, we partied with a band and a DJ really going for it, not caring that I had just hit another milestone and time was quickly speeding up.

21, the last truly memorable birthday till you turn 30, the last birthday that is joyfully celebrated, remembered by all, and eagerly anticipated.  Turning 21 is a right of passage, it has such a place in our lives that it is almost like a landmark, a time set in stone.  My 21st was messy, chaotic and absolutely insane, but I would not change that memory for £1,000,000.

Then it hits you…Birthday’s are now going to change.

From this moment onwards, birthday’s become tiresome.  You spend your day waiting for people to call, you open less cards, but you do get more memorable presents, things that seem to last longer and mean more.  You start to arrange ‘evenings’ instead of parties.  Meals, Drinks, Coffees replace Clubbing, Raves and House Parties.

Birthday Schmirthday, was my opening statement to my 23rd this year.  From underneath a pit of duvet and hangover reminding me i’m not as young as I used to be all I could think was, “Birthday Schmirthday”  then the excitement grew as I received beautiful gifts, and whilst I drank my tea I thought happily awww “birthday schmirthday” as I reminded myself it wasn’t all bad.  As I got dressed for the evenings revelry I thought mmmm “Birrrrrthday schmirrrthday” as I pondered on how grown up and sophisticated I looked in my earrings and updo combination, and finally, as I sat around a table with good family, eating good food, watching good friends play good music, I thought to myself in a soft, toy-storyesque voice “birthday Schmirthday” because although I was getting older, and my birthday’s were now following a different more mature path, I realised that I had chalked up another year and I was starting to grow up.

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

How To Cure A Hangover

Firstly, I’d just like to start this post by apologising for my absence of late, I have a note from my mom, that states why I have been absent from wordpress and I promise to make up all the work in the next week…

Hangovers are a messy business, they hurt, they bother, they bug and they bum you out mayyn!

hang.o.ver

[hang-oh-ver] NOUN
1. the disagreeable physical aftereffects of drunkenness, such as a headache or stomach disorder, usually felt several hours after cessation of drinking.
2. something remaining behind from a former period or state of affairs.
3. any aftermath of or lingering effect from a distressing experience: the post-Watergate hangover in Washington.

THE HANGOVER, a great movie, not a great feeling!  Whether you have been slamming shots at a bachelorette party, drinking cocktails on a yacht, downing pints with the lads or hitting the box of vino in the fridge, drinking will always lead to some sort of hangover the next day.  If you suffer from a mild or even catatonic hangover, these remedies should help you get back to normal a.s.a.p.

So, here are my TOP 10 Hangover Cures, try them all out and see what works for you, and once you find it, you’ll want to kiss me, saying ‘goodbye’ to horrible hangovers for the rest of your life:)

If you have the stomach for it, and haven't already chimichanga'd all over your bathroom sink...

#1 – MEXICAN FOOD AMIGOS!!

Mexican food is not probably the first thing that comes to mind when you crack open that one eye and realise, ‘oh yes that was a heavy night’  But it defintely should be on your list of things to remember.  Mexican food has some great hangover fighting properties that will have you reaching for the enchiladas in no time!

  1. Cilantro (Coriander) – Awesome Inflammation fighter.  So all those swollen heads and tight limbs, will be eased by this tasty little herb.
  2. Avocado – Packed full of Vitamin E and essential fatty acids, Avocados really help with the abosorbtion of moisture and other vital vitamins, so reach for the Guacamole my friends and get scooping with the nachos!
  3. Beans – Remember to pack in those refried beans on any dish you have, even ask for extra.  Beans are full of energy boosting fibre and loads of antioxidants which will help you start to feel less like a zombie and more human sooner than you can say ¿dónde está la salsa.
  4. Chillis – I learnt this lesson at Uni, Chillis are an incredible pain killer.  The hotter the better, pack them in and get chomping, the active ingredient in chillis will help combat the aches and pains from a heavy night on the tiles and give you the fiery boost to get up and out of bed.
 

TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST
What do you put in a toaster?

#2 – TOAST ME HOMIES

Now toast may not seem like a great cure-all creation, but it all depends on the topping!!

  1. MARMITE – This gooey spread has the entire world split in terms of its appeal.  If you are in #TEAMMARMITE then stock up if your planning a big night out.  Marmite is backed full of B vitamins which are good for your liver, kidneys and nervous system, all things damaged in some way by drinking alcohol!
  2. JAM – Now, you must make sure the jam is a majority fruit preserve or jelly.  If you have a high fruit content in your jam, the levels of fructose and fruit vitamins can actually promote the growth and repair of all body tissues.  Sweet huh?
  3. PEANUT BUTTER – Yes, I know it’s high in fat and very calorific, but you’ve just sank a tonne of calories on alcohol so go with me on this one!! Although high in fat, Peanut Butter is also high in fibre.  Get spreading and get those bowels moving!!
  4. HONEY – So, bees are annoying, but they truly did a marvellous job at creating the PERFECT hangover cure!  Honey is awesome, and if you like the taste then get spreading!  Honey has fantastic properties including being a natural antihistamine, anti-inflammatory AND anti-bacterial, honey boosts energy, can help with weight loss AND more importantly helps to speed up the oxidation of alcohol by the liver.  This causes a ‘sobering’ effect and can help you get going quicker the next morning.

Okay I agree, this picture is not really what we all look like trying to drink water in the mornings when all we can taste is that last cocktail and jaegerbomb!

#3 – WATER, WATER, WHO’S GOT THE WATER

Okay so this is an obvious one isn’t it?  but it generally does work.  Drinking alcohol can cause severe dehydration, which causes the brain to swell, which makes your head pound, your eyes hurt and your self inflicted hang over feel like your dying.  Drink some water duddde!! If not before you go to sleep definatly after to wake up, make it your first port of call.  You can also lose alot of electrolytes when drinking so after a few glasses of water try to have something like Lucozade, Poweraid or Gatoraid to replace those little fella’s in the old brainio!

If you can manage getting up and the mornign breath, CRACK ON MY FRIENDS! for the good of mankind get jiggy with it!

#4 – BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WAOOMMMM SEXY TIME PEOPLE!

Okay, so, sex…or some sort of physically yummy time…BASICALLY,  *blushing*, COME ON L.J PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! SEX IS A GREAT HANGOVER CURE, it gets all the endorphins going, makes you feel all stupid and happy and sweats out all the alcohol, now my mum reads my blog, and even has it bookmarked, so I can’t go into any detail for fear of getting a ‘talking to’ and having that feeling of utter embarassment wash over me like a wave of humiliation.  So this section gets a… just try it and see…..comment!!

Mix it up, get creative, but make them in advance do you don't have to hear that god awful, head ripping noise that is the blender!!

#5 – JUICEE SMOOTHIEE

Now this one I think sort of explains itself.  Fruit and veg, blended up to create an explosion of taste and handfuls of multi vitamin goodness, blah blah blah… so here are the best combos 🙂

  1. CARROT ZINGER – Apples,Carrots & Ginger – Good for icky stomach
  2. MELON SQUEEZER – Frozen Strawberries, Watermelon & Fresh Lime – Vitamin C
  3. HAIR OF THE DOG – Cranberry Juice, Frozen Strawberries, Shot of Vodka – got the balls?
  4. BEEZ KNEES – Honey, Orange Juice, Natural Yoghurt – Sobers you up quickly
  5. MEXICAN STAND OFF – Pineapple, Pear, Ginger, Aloe Vera – Hydration

THERE IS NO HEALTHY CHEMICAL REASON FOR THIS, THIS IS JUST THE BEST HANGOVER BUT THERE IS SOME SCIENCEY STUFF..... I think????

#6 – GOOD OLD ENGLISH ‘FRY UP’

God my mouth is watering on this one!! This is my personal cure of choice, preferably cooked by someone else as the actual cooking process makes me icky, but all the same, the amazing combo of fat lard and grease mixed with some veg and meat tends to do the trick on pesky hangovers.  For those of my readers who remain outside of the U.K the ‘Good Old English Fry Up’ is a combination of foods, tossed in a frying pan one by one, to make a hungry man’s breakfast!

THE USUAL COMPONENTS??

  1. Eggs (Fried, Poached, Scrambled, Boiled, anyway you prefer!)
  2. Bacon (In my opinion, GOT TO BE SMOKED!)
  3. Sausages
  4. Baked Beans
  5. Toast or Fried Bread (Bread usually fried after the bacon has been in the pan!!)
  6. Mushrooms
  7. Tomatoes
  8. Black Pudding (never on my plate, but the blood sausage likes to appear sometimes)
  9. Hash Browns (sometimes, in Cafés you get chips [fries] but not really often!)
  10. Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, Brown Sauce!!

Now it has to be fresh or it doesn't count you cheaters!!

#7 – GINGER MA NINJAS!!!

Ginger is truly #Amazeballs if you don’t mind the taste honestly get it in everything!! Whack it in an early morning juice drink, slam it in a midday stir fry, boil it up with some honey and a tea bag for a fresh alternative, chop it up into some cookies and bake when you wake!  Ginger is a fantastic root – herb?? spice!! SPICE!! there we go, Ginger is a fantastic root spice, that can aide indigestion, sore throats, headaches, constipation, nausea AND vomiting and so much more.  Just a little bit and you can start to feel the effects.  I love to chop a little bit off, peel it, and smoosh it a bit to get the juice out, then dropping it in a pot of Chai tea, enahncing the flavour of the Chai and really giving myself an early morning WAKE UP call!!

No, Rupert Grint isn't a Hangover Cure, although I would gratefully do number #4 with him any day!! Ah hell where am I?? oh yes.....it's not poor little Ronald Weasley, NO!! look closely at his top lip, IT'S MILK!!!
(Shameful perving over Rupert Grint, I apologise)

#8 – GOT MILK??

My mum has always told me, that before I go out drinking I should always drink a big glass of milk, just to line my stomach, I never do it but this got me to thinking, could milk be a good cure as well as a prevention method?  Doing some searching I realised that milk has some great properties for helping the day after a big drink…

  • EASE STRESS
    Milk has been proven to help ease the symptoms of stress and even PMS, as well as being a great energy booster milk can calm those worries of ‘what the hell did I do last night?’.
  • VITAMIN A & B
    Milk is packed full of Vitamin A & B which among other things helps with eyesight, feeling a bit hazy after a skinfull, sip a glass of milk to help get back that 20/20 vision.
  • ANTACIDS
    Milk is as many of you know is a good fighter against heartburn and indigestion.  After a belly full of beer, Milk can help repair that fragile stomach lining of yours, coating it and calming it ready for a large helping of hangover food!
  • PROTEIN
    The proteins in milk, help to rebuild muscles, awesome after a gym session, but also great after a night where you’ve thrown a few shapes that you haven’t necessarily thrown in a while, a glass of milk ro two can help to reduce the soreness the next morning!!
  • SKIN GLOWING ACIDS
    Sounds scary huh? It’s not honest!! I used to work at The Body Shop, and if there is one thing I know it’s that your skin is very important and surprisingly easy to damage!!  Milk is packed with Lactic and Amino Acids, 2 things that are rammed into expensive face creams, lotions and potions!  So fight that awful zombie face by always removing your make up before you sleep and drink some milk the next day to defeat that sallowed skin!

Yes that's right, Will Smith was entirely correct, THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLDDDDDDDD, ermmm ok it's just an app but seriously, techy-cures?? what is the world coming to?

#9 – SPOCK’S HANGOVER CURE!

Thought you had seen it all?  Thought that I was scraping the bottom of the barrel??  Thought I was done making you think I had lost it???  WELL NOT FOR LONG MY BEAUTIES!!  What you see above you there is a neat little app.  An app that claims to relieve your hanovers through the power of low frequency theta and delta waves that calm and relieve the brain during a hangover.

Now, I am a slight simpleton when it comes to all this brainwaves and hovercraft talk, but I am a total geek at heart and wanted to know more, so here is my little guide to brainwaves…

  • BETA Your totally awake, completely active in the brainy department
  • ALPHA Your Daydreaming, meditating, relaxing with a few OHHHMMMMS
  • THETA Your drifting in and out of sleep, you know when you start to dribble
  • DELTA Your in deep sleep, where all functionality of the brain is taken outside of the imaginable and can operate outside the confines of linear space and time.

So you see, this app, replicates the two states in which your brain is at its calmest, most relaxed states allowing your hangover to subside as your mind quietens down a bit!  Try it for your self HERE and let me know how it works!

Definatly Dying, always dying...
"But mum I can't do the dishes, I'm dying..."
"Baby, I can't scrub your hairy back, I'm dying..."
"Dude, I would defeat your ass at MarioKart, but, I'm dying!"

#10 – Prevention Over Cure

Now, this is the part where I’m supposed to say, don’t drink, be good and healthy and don’t destroy your liver, do not have that 14th JaegerBomb, no that Cocktail will not taste nice repeated, and yes that 27th beer is definatly a bad idea.  But hell, we all do it, we all make mistakes, and we all have hysterical memories about ‘that guy who got naked and climbed the lamp post’.

The best way to stop a Hangover though is to be well prepared before you go out.  Always try to eat something, and don’t do that whole ‘if I don’t eat I’ll get drunker quicker’ thing, it’s reallllly bad for you and can actually cause tissue damage!! Try and line your stomach with carbs, they release their energy slowly and also give your stomach something to fight the alcohol with!  Drink a glass of milk as my mum says and when you get home, make some toast or grab something out your fridge.

If all else fails, hang onto the kitchen floor so you don’t fall off, keep your shoes on for alcoholic trips and remember not all dwarves are house elves, it’s not right to throw socks at them and scream ‘DOBBY YOUR FREE!’

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

 

 

The Meaning of Friendship

Sometimes, in life, when your sat in that moment, when your totally alone, it’s your truest friends that cross your mind…

Mark Twain once said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”  Throughout my life, there have been very dark moments of grief, moments that have seen me in the deepest of holes with nothing but my own hands to bring me out. At those moments, friends seem obsolete, friends seem to add more weight to already heavy hearts. Friends want to do so much for you, they want to help and bring you out of your sadness, but that weakened smile you return them always says the same thing, ‘Please, stop trying so hard’.

True friendship is defined as a natural reaction, to a feeling of unconditional love and ultimate support towards a person not of blood relation, in all areas of their life.  This is why, TRUE friends will take that weakened smile from you, turn around and make you a cup of tea, this is why TRUE friends can accept the worst of bad situations, and are willing to wait til the tides turn in your favour.

True friendship is like sitting inside a panic room, whilst the world spins out of control around you.  If  you watch children [in a non predatory totally innocent completely PC kind of way] they run around experiencing true friendship every moment of everyday.  They share and love so freely, they console without consideration of anything other than helping the hurt.  It’s only when we reach our teens that things get in the way of that pure sense of friendship, we start picking cliques, choosing styles, liking trends and well, growing up!  It’s only until you grow up some more that you realise, you kinda wish you were 5 again only arguing over who had the best sandwiches at lunchtime.

TIMON AND PUMBAA, THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Friends have always meant ‘family’ to me, friends have always been more than someone to go shopping with…

In later life [I know i’m only 22 (23 on Saturday though) but I have friends of all ages] I think friends become more important, you start realising that all those FRIENDS you thought you had are now a very carefully selected FAMILY.  A bunch of people who literally know you better than you do, yes mates come and go throughout your time on this doomed planet of ours, but friends, they taken time to craft, they take investment.  They become the people who have scraped you off the pub floor, slapped you when you’ve been an arsehole, told you to man up when your being petty, hugged you when you’ve messed up and taken care of you when you’ve needed it most.

True friends aren’t necessarily there every day like the ‘best friends’ of yester year, true friends can go months without talking, as long as when they do talk it’s like you spoke 10 minutes ago and you wonder why they are calling again.  True friends aren’t the people that need your attention 24/7/365…true friends, only when they really have to, send you a text to request your urgent presence.

It’s only until we’re old and wrinkly that we go back to that innocence of friendship, that time it doesn’t matter who you talk to, your just happy to be talking.  That time when you share and love freely again, and if you are clever enough to keep life long friends til this time in your life, you start to realise that these may be the last times you spend with them, so you go back to doing silly things together, reminiscing about old times and setting out on new adventures with friends old and new, it’s just like being 6 again, because there are no barriers again, no restrictions or constraints, your back in that panic room without a care in the world apart from being together.

ONLY TRUE FRIENDS CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS!! I ONCE SHRINK WRAPPED A FRIENDS BEDROOM AT UNIVERSITY WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND CATERING SIZED CLING FILM, NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS HYSTERICAL AND TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

So, I shall end this post with a little story, a modern fable if you will…

THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 BEERS 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. 

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between The golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed. 

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car. 

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into
the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on
the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. 

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend
time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents.  Enjoy being with your friends.

Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really 
matter.

Set your priorities.

‘The rest is just sand.’ 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ 
The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’ 

And that my beauties, is The Meaning of Friendship.

Thank you for reading, I hope my post makes you think of your friends and who knows maybe you’ll send them a cheeky link to this to remind them that what you have is TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

I don’t wear Lipstick but if I did…

I WOULD WANT THEM TO LOOK LIKE THESE BEAUTIFUL DESIGNS…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This last one is my favourite, I love the sharpness, the detail and the texture in the paint is awesome!! Much prefer it on a canvas on my wall though instead of on my ACTUAL lips.

Normal blogging will resume tonight orrrr maybe tomorrow,

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,,

L.J x

Well I just spilt Yoghurt all down my front!

You know those depressing moments, when you google your blog and realise you actually have no impact on the google search engine what so ever.  That awkward moment when you think your blog is totally amazeballs yet you don’t appear til page 2,000,000 of the results that google miraculously found in under a nanosecond…

Well my friends, today I may have had a slight orgasm when I found that my teeny tiny blog IS NUMBER FREAKING 4!!!! out of a kazillion links, my blog came up 4th! all beit underneath www.urbandictionary.com but none-the-less!!

Uber happy today, I am in the process of writing a bigger post later on so keep your eyes peeled, just wanted to say thank you to every person who has read my blog, you’ve made me a very happy tarte!

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

Navigation Nessie #2

"Hi, can anyone here tell me if I have this the right way up?"

Navigation Nessie #1

Navigating these waterways is hell when your not quite sure whats underneath you!

THANK YOU READERS OF WORDPRESS

Paper Crane Update…

A month ago today I attempted to cross item Number #20 Off my Apocalypse Bucket List.  Number 20 was for me something I never thought I would achieve, to be honest it as a booster item, that’s why it said ATTEMPT to give up smoking, not ACTUALLY give up smoking.  I started making paper cranes to find something to do with my hands and in my first week I made 103.  Every time I wanted to roll a cigarette I would find some paper, any paper, I even used a bus ticket or two…

[Current Total of Cranes: 346]

1 month ago today I started to ‘attempt’ to give up…I will be honest it’s been really hard, who knew giving up the old ciggie would make you feel like a rabid racoon set on mauling every human who passes you?  As I continued, making the paper cranes, I found that I didn’t need to as much, as the cravings started to wear off It was only in those moments of UTTER desperation that I would find the nearest scrap of anything papery, (i’ve been known to fold a sturdy fabric ripped from the breaking base of my favourite handbag :[ ) and fold a crane.

I’ve now basically lost most of the cravings, I think I have officially given up smoking, and it feels…

sooooo PANTS!!

Yep that’s right I said it, I WISH I STILL SMOKED!! If I go to the pub now I get left for half an hour whilst everyone goes outside in the cold for a fag and end up MOVING the party outside!!

AND ANOTHER THING, everyone in my family smokes, yup that’s right, I have to segregate myself from everyone so I don’t inhale their hands just because it’s there!  As I said the cravings have dissappeared, I don’t NEED a cigarette I just WANT one, ‘cos it looks like fun!

My nails are finally starting to grow again, BRILLIANT…..NO! Now I have to paint and manicure them every week or I end up looking like someone from the Guinness Book of Records!

AND MY TASTEBUDS ARE REPAIRING THEMSELVES YIPEEEEE, HELLLLLLL NO!!! Now chocolate tastes sweeter, salt tastes sooooo damnnnnn good, and MILKSHAKES!!! OH-MY-JEHAAAAYSUS! Milkshakes taste like nectar now, So long to the weightloss!

Okay, bright side because otherwise I will lick the nearest ashtray…

I AM VERY PLEASED TO CROSS OFF ITEM NUMBER #20 ON MY BUCKET LIST, THIS IS AN AMAZING DAY, please kill me, THIS IS A MILESTONE I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE ACHIEVED, seriously waste me right now, I HAVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH CLEAN AIR IN MY LUNGS AND I AM PROUD TO SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH YOU ALL, I’ll pay you 100 bucks just bash me in,  THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS NEW AND OLD WHO HAVE SUPPORTED ME THROUGH THIS TOUGH MONTH, I could be a disney villain with the amount of rage I have right now, CHEERS FOR READING EVERYBODY, die a slow and painful death, HAPPY BLOGGING!

L.J.SIMMS x

Undeniable Evidence that I am Infact a Panda…

Although my name is L.J, and my ‘stage name’ if you like is The Common tarte, today I am going to let you into a little known fact about me.  For years now, Wonder Woman has called me something unique.  A nickname that nobody else apart from R2D2, calls me any variation of.

And the name of choice? I hear you say? PandaPops.

Now yes, on occasion this is shortened to Pops, Pandy, Pandagirl (R2D2), PandaFace, Popsy, Poops [yes yes all very lovely] but all of these names got me to thinking today.  When I woke up this morning I did my usual ritual, I looked at my phone making unexplicable noises as if it was in pain, I checked its vitals then promptly threw it at the wall.  Thank the lord my blackberry is made of sturdier stuff!  Then I nestled back into my pit that I call a bed, the beautiful squishy kingsize duvet, the abundance of schmooscie pillows that vary is size, stuffing and casing, my toes curled under the secondary patchwork blanket i have which in the mornings is deliciously cold, my head sinks underneath everything into a deep dark corner of the enveloping mass and as soon as my mouth falls open with glee, I’m asleep again, having now scuppered any chance of waking up on time as my wakey-uppy device (A.K.A THE BLACKBERRY) has now had a meeting with Mr.Wall and decided okay we’ll dismiss that alarm shall we? and my body is now enrobed in so much comfort there is really no need for me to wake up…ever….like EVER….

What has this got to do with the whole Panda nickname? I HEAR YOU CRYING whilst you sip your morning mochas!

Well, I realised this morning that I am infact a Human Panda!  You may laugh, you may weep, but yes I am

A HUMAN PANDA

The facts are all there for anyone to see, when I wake up I have suspiciously large Black patches over my eyes, obviously this is not just the previous days make up smooshed around my face in my sleep THIS IS EVIDENCE OF PANDAFICATION!

My limbs are too short for my body which makes it really easy to curl up into a ball and sleeeep (PANDAFICATION)

I would much rather sleep then do anything else in the world (UTTER EVIDENCE OF PANDAFICATION)

and finally this is EXACTLY what I look like in the mornings…

Cheers for reading,

PandaPops! xx

I.Get.By.With.A.Little.Help.From.My.Friends…

I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING…

That is one tasty looking basket right there!  This was the late night ASDA shopping that occurred with my best friend Wonder Woman.  It also needs to be stated that we were waiting at the make your own pizza counter when this picture was taken,  so add a large 18″ BBQ base chicken, pepperoni, mushroom and sweetcorn stuffed crust pizza to that basket and you have yourselves the perfect night in.

You know, I couldn’t live without Wonder Woman, we don’t see each other EVERY day, and we have our own separate lives, but when either of us really need each other the other one is always there, with a chocolate bar, a cuppa rosy-lea and a cuddle.  With us, friendship has no boxes, it has no boundaries, no guidelines that it must fulfill, it just exists.  We have been through the really tough times, and we have been through the amazing times, we started our friendship under the weirdest of circumstances and continue to surprise ourselves every time we see each other.  We understand the fundamental ticking of each others brain cogs and I would go as far as to say we know each other better than anyone else knows us.

Being with Wonder Woman alot recently got me to thinking…how is it that we work so well?  What is it that we do, that means our friendship has lasted this long, HOW DID we get through that…and HOW DID she put up with this…and WHY DID I allow that to happen and WHEN DID we start to grow old together?  I can’t start to imagine that I know the secret formula to a perfect friendship, because our friendship is far from perfect, we do have times where ‘If I’m Honest’ (private joke :P) we want to rip each others heads off and serve them for breakfast to the local duck pond, but you know what I wouldn’t trade her for anyone.  And, even though it is slightly childish and immature to say this, I would just like to say Wonder Woman?…BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

So I say to you, go find your best friend, go give them a cuddle, take them for a pint, and celebrate that you have made it through however long you have made it through, every minute counts in the year of the apocalypse!!

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x