THANK YOU READERS OF WORDPRESS

Paper Crane Update…

A month ago today I attempted to cross item Number #20 Off my Apocalypse Bucket List.  Number 20 was for me something I never thought I would achieve, to be honest it as a booster item, that’s why it said ATTEMPT to give up smoking, not ACTUALLY give up smoking.  I started making paper cranes to find something to do with my hands and in my first week I made 103.  Every time I wanted to roll a cigarette I would find some paper, any paper, I even used a bus ticket or two…

[Current Total of Cranes: 346]

1 month ago today I started to ‘attempt’ to give up…I will be honest it’s been really hard, who knew giving up the old ciggie would make you feel like a rabid racoon set on mauling every human who passes you?  As I continued, making the paper cranes, I found that I didn’t need to as much, as the cravings started to wear off It was only in those moments of UTTER desperation that I would find the nearest scrap of anything papery, (i’ve been known to fold a sturdy fabric ripped from the breaking base of my favourite handbag :[ ) and fold a crane.

I’ve now basically lost most of the cravings, I think I have officially given up smoking, and it feels…

sooooo PANTS!!

Yep that’s right I said it, I WISH I STILL SMOKED!! If I go to the pub now I get left for half an hour whilst everyone goes outside in the cold for a fag and end up MOVING the party outside!!

AND ANOTHER THING, everyone in my family smokes, yup that’s right, I have to segregate myself from everyone so I don’t inhale their hands just because it’s there!  As I said the cravings have dissappeared, I don’t NEED a cigarette I just WANT one, ‘cos it looks like fun!

My nails are finally starting to grow again, BRILLIANT…..NO! Now I have to paint and manicure them every week or I end up looking like someone from the Guinness Book of Records!

AND MY TASTEBUDS ARE REPAIRING THEMSELVES YIPEEEEE, HELLLLLLL NO!!! Now chocolate tastes sweeter, salt tastes sooooo damnnnnn good, and MILKSHAKES!!! OH-MY-JEHAAAAYSUS! Milkshakes taste like nectar now, So long to the weightloss!

Okay, bright side because otherwise I will lick the nearest ashtray…

I AM VERY PLEASED TO CROSS OFF ITEM NUMBER #20 ON MY BUCKET LIST, THIS IS AN AMAZING DAY, please kill me, THIS IS A MILESTONE I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE ACHIEVED, seriously waste me right now, I HAVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH CLEAN AIR IN MY LUNGS AND I AM PROUD TO SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH YOU ALL, I’ll pay you 100 bucks just bash me in,  THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS NEW AND OLD WHO HAVE SUPPORTED ME THROUGH THIS TOUGH MONTH, I could be a disney villain with the amount of rage I have right now, CHEERS FOR READING EVERYBODY, die a slow and painful death, HAPPY BLOGGING!

L.J.SIMMS x

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The Meaning of Life According to Nintendo


Sometimes, okay, truth time, ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS, I often wonder what it would be like to live in a world just like Mario.  Feeling a bit lousy? Go on an adventure mission to save a princess, Tired of feeling small? Eat some red mushrooms feel a little bigger, Not feeling strong today? Strap on a blue shell suit, get some armour on that fragile self of yours! Bored of life all together? Here’s a green mushroom, now it’s coming in fast you gotta jump for it at just the ….. right…..moment…..

AHHHH DANG IT! you missed it!, ah well, do a few more levels and you’ll get another one, just earn a shit tonne of coinage, struggle through a few levels, die a couple of times and have the princess robbed from you a few more and then…..hang on…wait…

Maybe we are already living in a Nintendo game? No seriously think about it.  You never really ‘get the princess’ till your on your last ‘level’ about to face the ‘big boss’ and you realise you’ve just been chasing fruitless dreams for all of eternity!

What if we treated life more like a game, and less like a death sentence?  Instead of chasing this ideal of what we ‘should be’ chasing, why don’t we just go for what we fancy that day?  What would happen if Mario decided actually you know what?  Princess Peach isn’t all that great anyway,  All this work and no hanky panky afterwards?? REALLY?? Just a pat on the back and a ‘well done’…I mean he’s so busy rushing through the levels to save her, half the time you never get to experience the entire game anyways, there are always cheats and bonus levels that you miss out on if all you strive to do is save the darn princess.

No, from now on, I’m not going to play this life like Mario,  I’m going to be one of Luigi!! Yeah, he got the whole deal right you know, pop in and out when you like to help out, but don’t get bogged down with the big picture, make enough money to keep yourself happy, but don’t pimp out your entire self to be the face of something, Have whatever princess you like, because your not bound to one single game, NO, #TeamLuigi all the way!!

So here’s to the apocalypse generation!  Hold your heads high my friends and repeat after me…

#TEAMLUIGI #TEAMLUIGI #TEAMLUIGI

@thecommontarte , let’s start a revolution!

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

I.Get.By.With.A.Little.Help.From.My.Friends…

I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING…

That is one tasty looking basket right there!  This was the late night ASDA shopping that occurred with my best friend Wonder Woman.  It also needs to be stated that we were waiting at the make your own pizza counter when this picture was taken,  so add a large 18″ BBQ base chicken, pepperoni, mushroom and sweetcorn stuffed crust pizza to that basket and you have yourselves the perfect night in.

You know, I couldn’t live without Wonder Woman, we don’t see each other EVERY day, and we have our own separate lives, but when either of us really need each other the other one is always there, with a chocolate bar, a cuppa rosy-lea and a cuddle.  With us, friendship has no boxes, it has no boundaries, no guidelines that it must fulfill, it just exists.  We have been through the really tough times, and we have been through the amazing times, we started our friendship under the weirdest of circumstances and continue to surprise ourselves every time we see each other.  We understand the fundamental ticking of each others brain cogs and I would go as far as to say we know each other better than anyone else knows us.

Being with Wonder Woman alot recently got me to thinking…how is it that we work so well?  What is it that we do, that means our friendship has lasted this long, HOW DID we get through that…and HOW DID she put up with this…and WHY DID I allow that to happen and WHEN DID we start to grow old together?  I can’t start to imagine that I know the secret formula to a perfect friendship, because our friendship is far from perfect, we do have times where ‘If I’m Honest’ (private joke :P) we want to rip each others heads off and serve them for breakfast to the local duck pond, but you know what I wouldn’t trade her for anyone.  And, even though it is slightly childish and immature to say this, I would just like to say Wonder Woman?…BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

So I say to you, go find your best friend, go give them a cuddle, take them for a pint, and celebrate that you have made it through however long you have made it through, every minute counts in the year of the apocalypse!!

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

103 WAYS TO GIVE UP SMOKING

A Thousand
Paper Cranes…

[BARE WITH THIS POST, I HAVE ADDED THIS POST-POSTING TO THIS POST…HAHA SORRY, ERMM YES, I BEGAN WRITING THIS 2 WEEKS AGO, SINCE WRITING THIS I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE CIGARETTE, AND SINCE STARTING THE PAPER CRANES JUST OVER A WEEK AGO I HAVE FOLDED 103 CRANES, JUST THINKING I WOULD HAVE SMOKED THAT MANY CIGARETTES IF NOT MORE, IN 7.5 DAYS, SCARY STUFF…GOOD LUCK TO ALL THOSE QUITTING SMOKING THIS YEAR, I’M REALLY GOING TO STICK TO IT THIS TIME]

1,000 Paper Cranes  (千羽鶴 Senbazuru?)
“Thousand Origami Cranes is a group of one thousand origami paper cranes held together by strings. An ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by a crane, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.”

[http://tinyurl.com/7tjdxxo]

The idea intrigues me, it made me almost cry when I watched it on Heroes, noteably one of my favourite series’ of the past few years.

 Watching Charlie’s expression, when the camera zoomed out and revealed the epic amount of cranes delicately hanging by clear threads around their heads was in my opinion, utterly beautiful and actually quite stylish! Ha Ha…

Now, today has frankly been an awful day, I woke up in that highly irritating situation where your neck has been sleeping comfortably all evening, and then, suddenly, the second you wake up…AH%&$$! F*&£”~#!! …your neck trips into spasm and you can’t move for the rest of the day! anddddd I decided to start item number 20 on my Bucket List, I figured that although I have ticked a few things off the list, I’m still no closer to actually COMPLETING the list.

Item Number 20. ATTEMPT TO GIVE UP SMOKING…

Now your all probably wondering what the hell item 20 and paper cranes have in common, well it all started like this…..

So being unemployed, with no car, no money, not alot of people around during the day and a family who all smoke! (that’s right kids, Batman, The Incredibles, Poison Ivy, Misty Knight, Iron Man, WONDER WOMAN!! allllllllll of them SMOKE!)  Now obviously Poison Ivy is up lá duff so has stopped smoking, but for me it was so easy to just light up a fag, puff puff puffy away all day, I would say I had a steady 20 a day deal going on, menthol rollies were to me like a warm glass of red wine of an evening, just something i enjoyed!  and then the fateful day arrived….

Poison Ivy had warned me something like this may happen, and when Wonder Woman tried to give up last month, she said the same thing, there comes a point where something just snaps in your mind, and smoking just isn’t nice anymore!
Now for all those people out there screaming,’SMOKING’S DISGUSTING’ ‘IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU’ ‘YOU SMELL LIKE AN ASHTRAY’ I really don’t care, unless you’re a smoker you have no concept of how good it feels to have a fresh cup of coffee and a sneaky ciggie, or rolling a menthol and relaxing just puffing away.  IF YOU ARE NOT A SMOKER YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD THAT FEELS!!! and after sex……. WOWWWWWW better than the sex before it haha.

But anyway I digress, so I was sat in the study with my tobacco rolling a cig, and it happened, something choked a little in my throat, i licked the rizla and the smell of the dry tobacco made me feel a bit icky, and as I sparked the cigarette, I was convincing myself that I wanted to become a non-smoker! (I think it helped that my pouch was now empty and I had no way of getting anymore haha!!)

Day one – Fine, 0 cigarettes
Day two – Fine, 0 cigarettes
Day three – Ok, 0 Cigarettes
Day four – Average, 0 cigarettes, stood behind woman at cashpoint inhaling her scarf it smelt so good
Day five – SH*T, SH*TE, CR*P, AWFUL, SHODDY, EURGH, CRAPOLAAA! 0 cigarettes…grrrr
Day six – Pissed off, angry, want to murder someone for £3.50 to get tobacco… 0 cigarettes
Day seven – Today…woke up, feeling refreshed, breathing (asthma) noticeably clearer, cravings minimum, 0 cigarettes…

Now….how did I do it?

PAPER CRANES!!!

Honestly, for the past week I have ranged through every emotion possible, this first week of not smoking has almost killed me, and I think its mainly due to the fact that I have nothing to cure the boredom, smoking became a habit because I was bored.  It gave me something to do with my hands, the ceremony of rolling the cigarette, lighting it, inhaling and enjoying the minty smoke, sitting back and taking it in…..it takes time, its a process, its also really difficult to describe!  So I had to find something to keep my hands busy, and remembering the episode of Heroes, whilst thinking about my meditation experiences of late, I thought, I bet I can make 1,000 paper cranes….that will stop me from smoking.

Now, everytime I want a cigarette I fold a piece of paper, and it can be anything, newspapers, magazines, catalogues, comic books, junk mail…anything that I can find just to keep my mind off smoking.  and I can say now it’s working, being around smoke makes me feel ill, the smell makes me want to vom on their faces, and the change in myself is remarkable, it’s early days yet but here’s to crossing off another Bucket List item and to continuing on my journey.

Made with 1978 Superman Comic Book

Made From: Pandora Jewellery Catalogue Page.

I found an Irregular choice Shoebox and have given them a home already

Here’s to the SuperCranes!!   May they guide me through this rough patch and grant me a blooming good wish when I’ve made 10,000 of the buggars!

Cheers for reading 🙂

L.J x