I’m a Tea Addict, So Shoot Me!

OMG! GET YOUR BUTTS TO ISMAIL PRONTO!!

Okay, I’m officially obsessed with this coffee and tea shop, and, to be honest I have wanted to do a feature on them for a while now and just haven’t got round to doing it.  So here goes…

Ismail, is a relatively medium sized coffee and tea house in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.  Now to say that I am a fan of coffee and sitting with one brewing whilst casually writing or reading, is a MASSIVE understatement, even in cold weather I will sit outside the shop to get the full benefit of the warming hot drink grasped in my hands.  Usually I darken such doorways as Costa or Starbucks, quick, easy, and basically identical,  what you don’t get with Costa and Starbucks is that feeling of individuality, you don’t get the feeling that your tea was brewed just for you or that your coffee was ground specifically so you would enjoy it.  Well this is where Ismail differs.

Everything in this place is luxury personified (with amazingly competitive prices as well, they won’t rob you blind like some other places!)  The teas are, firstly, BEAUTIFUL, my favourite is the one pictured above, ‘Amaretto Royale’ is THE most beautiful tea I have ever tasted, and if you are a fan of fruity teas like I am, but always get disappointed that it just doesn’t taste how you expect, this tea certainly packs a punch.

A spice and fruit infusion of crushed almonds, apples and cinnamon, this carefully balanced blend combines the creamy sweetness of almonds with subtle hints of cinnamon and ripe green fruits. I Drink it without milk and I add just a touch of honey to add to that rounded warmth sweetness you get from the apples and almonds.  Although there are no cherries in there, it honestly tastes like a cherry bakewell tart fresh from the oven.

AND, the brewing process is all sorted for you, the beautiful glass teapots let you watch the whole process as you are granted with a little timer, set at the counter that alerts you to the moment when your tea has brewed perfectly, this tea in particular takes 4-5 minutes to brew to an appropriate standard, which gives you enough time to settle in your seat, get your phone out and your book or paperwork.  PERFECTION.

Now Ismail doesn’t stop at tea and coffee, OH NO!! they are known locally for having THE best Hot chocolate in town, my personal opinion is that its the best Hot Chocolate in the world.  I’ve had Hot Chocolate in Italy, America, France, Belgium, Canada, Devon, and all of them have been there own little amount of perfect but Ismail’s is phenomenal, it’s beyond anything you’ve ever known…

This photo was from another trip to Ismail, a slightly colder day when all I could think of drinking was hot chocolate…Now let me take a moment just to explain this beautiful drink from beginning to end.

1) £2.40 (Starbucks £2.85 McDonalds £2.79 for the same size as Ismail)
2) What you can see there is a tall glass that has melted Belgian chocolate smothered around the inside of the glass and a deep well of chocolate at the bottom of the glass.  The chocolate is the best I’ve ever tasted and they do it in Milk and Dark chocolate.
3) The glass is then topped up with milk, hot and frothy, THEN…
4) They top it with an Ismail coin, a thick chocolate coin that sits on top and melts down into the milk.
5) When you stir this bad boy, the chocolate disappears into the milk, swirling round into the MOST amazing hot chocolate you will ever taste in this world.
6) Beware the chocolate moustache, my advice, just run your finger around the rim of the glass before you drink, I’ve seen many a person walk away with a beautifully crafted swirly moustache of Belgian goodness!

Now whether you live up north, or in the local vicinity GET YOUR BUTT TO ISMAIL PRONTO!  They are amazing in there from the food to the drinks to the cakes to the EVERYTHING, oh and did I mention that you can buy their teas and coffees AND CHOCOLATE in store and online? I didn’t mention it? oh well, YOU CAN BUY EVERYTHING IN STORE AND ONLINE!!!

http://www.ismail.co.uk

Muchos Love, and Happy coffee-ing!
Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

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How to Cope with Being Unemployed

So, currently I’m unemployed.  It’s a crap life but somebody’s
got to do it.I’ve been unemployed for 3 months, I’ve worked
since I was 15 and I spent 3 years doing a degree.  You’d think I’m
suitable for something, anything,I would clean toilets if it
meant that I was earning some decent cash that I honestly feel I
worked hard to deserve to earn.  When you go to University
everyone tells you it’s the right thing to do, you HAVE
to do it if you want to make your life better than the
average bear’s!  What a mistake it was to listen
to that advice!  Honestly, in my humble opinion, I think unless
your going to TRAIN for a profession, don’t bother, it’s not
worth your time or debt! Since losing my job, I’ve tried
every which way possible to get a Job.  I’ve tried recruitment
agencies, Online jobsites, unemployment agencies.  I’ve even
tried to get funding to start my own studio for my artwork but
no joy anywhere! I recently had to apply for JobSeeker’s
Allowance and to tell you all the truth…
It’s killing me, I hate it, I hate having to accept money that I
haven’t earnt plus along with the overwhelming feeling of
un-accomplishment I have to have the telephone meetings with
the Job Seeker Lady, the woman who bless her
heart find the most inane jobs available and tries to palm them off on me…

That’s right! ME! The woman who got a flaming DEGREE!
I’ve got 4 Alevels! I’ve got 12 GCSEs!!!
THEY ALL TOLD ME I’D GET A JOB INSTANTLY!!!!!!!

See what I mean kids? My advice? don’t stick in school,
get out as soon as is legal, get your backsides down to an
apprenticeship, or work to learn scheme this further education
stuff is boll***s if you ask me!! £12,000 and I’m still no
closer to a well paid salary job than the homeless
guy who lives by tescos!

So after I speak with Job Seeker Sue, I get a call from the
Recruitment Man Sam, his smarmy voice, and sales talk makes
me cringe, I’ve worked in sales related jobs all my life, these
people think I can’t recognise the sales banter?? REALLY?
Then comes the prep for the interview. what to say,
what NOT to say…and OH WAIT

“Definitely don’t mention that you worked in childcare…”

“Hi there, hello, yes, hi can you hear me, oh great,
*smarmy sales voice*
hiiiiiiiiiii
yes great to talk to youuuuuu,
yesssss I meann I’ve…

*here comes the sales banter crap
Recruitment Man Sam tells me to say*

yes.I.mean.I’ve.worked.in.sales.for.many.years.and.I’ve.
managed.a.team.of.up.to.6.working.on.the.analytical.
basis.that.I.prepare.all.their.time.managment.graphs.and.
yes.I.work.towards.target.based.memorandums.and.of.
course.I.can.work.microsoft.office.to.grade.A.standard.yesssss.
I’ve pioneered.flights.to.Gambia.and.yes.of.course.I’m.
fully.trained.in.zombie.attack.protocol.and.yes.I.have.the.statuatory.
2,000,000.years.worth.of.experience.that.is.vital.to.
know.how.to.sell.someone.paper.waste.management.and.
I.always.carry.my.iPhone.because.of.course.I.would.never.own
a.blackberry.and.I.would.love.to.discuss.this.role.further.
with.you.your.highness.who.I.need.to.give.me.a.job.because.I’m…

!DESPERATE!

Day 86 of unemployment, and I’m tired.

Yes I said it, I’m freaking tired, I do nothing all day,
but drink coffee, eat toast, watch Jeremy Kyle and imagine
up blog posts.  I make dozens of Paper Cranes all day not
only to stop me going insane from not smoking (because I
can’t afford it) but also because I’m bored! I sit and read
cookery books that I can’t cook from because I have no money
I watch QVC, and dream of owning the quick fire
chopper upper thingy because I have no life
I constantly chew my nails and stare at my BBm,
Whatsapp, Facebook AND Twitter because my friends
are all at work and I get excited over my afternoon milky coffee
because I pretend its a caramel latte from costa, minus the caramel!

I’m writing a novel…
Yeah I can do that, I’m creating an art installation too, and I’m
trying internet dating I’m desperately trying to keep the
creative creature inside me amused, so I don’t lose hope
that one day, someone will think I’m not half bad, and
trust that my CV isn’t the end of all things, and
SOMETIMES, you have to TRUST someone,
not just check theirfacebook to see what a mess
they were at the last festival they attended.

(I was a state!)

I FOUND A JOB

OH MY SHIT I FOUND A JOB

It’s perfect, it’s £26,000 A YEAR!!!!!
*slight orgasm sorry everyone*

I could do this job, I could ACE this job, I’m perfect for it,
give me the job, yess, yess, ahhhhhh, omg, omg, omg, omg
JOB ADVERTISMENT MEGA ORGASM…..

dammit, I need a qualification…

but I could do it……and I could do it really well.

[This is the part where I broke down, crying, snot,
it wasn’t pretty heaving with sorrow into my pillow,
with the inevitable *woe is me* speech, then getting the
angry face, you know that agression that creeps in,
the *f!ck no I’m better than this* agression, that insists
that you fight the system, stick it to the man,
bring down the house and generally sound like an epic fool…]

This is the genuine Cover Letter that I sent.
I omitted my real information in editing.
I sent this alongside my CV, to the dream job.

ScreenShot from the application form.

So please, anyone who reads my blog, anyone who likes it,
or follows me because of it take your hands and cross
those fingers for me, If your religious, pray for me,
If your a jedi, do some funky mind tricks..and if you
just so happen to be someone from RED GATE
please give me the job, I would work like a slave for you…

You’ve just got to give me a chance…

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x