are You Easy like a Sunday morning?

Hello to all and any readers out there who have joined me and all the others on WordPress today.  I’ve started to notice recently, that I really am turning into middle-aged TwentySomething.  Sundays, are fast becoming my favouritest of days [used to be Thursdays], wherein I bask in the enjoyment of fruitless activities and feel somewhat like I want to live in a Beatrix Potter book.

In this new year, I have seen an enormous change in many aspects of my life, the broody nature to find your own nest and start to command your own life starts by ‘liking Sundays’.  Instead of Sundays always being the day of ‘oh shit’s ‘ouch my head’s and ‘oh fuck I’ve got so much to finish’s’es’sss [never know how to finish that!].  Sundays develop into a new creature altogether; you tend not to mind when you’re woken before 10am, in fact it becomes quite nice to watch TV in bed with the blinds Open, which, having always been a lock down affair is rather refreshing for me.

Sundays become a day of intrigue, a day for exploring.  The Incredibles like to do gardening, yomping [bit like rambling with more of a stomp] and tinkering, oh! and throw in a Grand Prix or 2.  Batman is still in the ‘Sundays are for hiding’ club usually joined by a hung over Robin sleeping somewhere dark and quiet.  Me, I’m in the exploring stage, where I don’t really want to do anything, but I’ve got to do something, so I like to discover information;  new things, funny things, serious things and exciting things.  But, I want to be inside a Beatrix Potter book to do it.

Now don’t say I’m mad, but Sundays right now, for me, are so evocative of the bright springtime scenes Beatrix Potter wrote about.  A cute little watermill cottage surrounded by forest and fields, with dusky pink roses growing over the door.  I wish I had a little English den to call my own, where my writing room would overlook the steady stream that flows from the mill, the wildlife and springtime scent in the air.

Sunday’s are quintessentially English to me, the demeanor of a Sunday is hardly like a New Yorker, no, no way, they are definitely Monday’s, with their passion and beautiful brash-ness, New Yorkers couldn’t and wouldn’t be a sunday.  And I mean, well, a Parisian would always be a Wednesday afternoon, there’s something magical, almost imaginary about a Wednesday afternoon we often pass it off, but to be in Paris on a Wednesday afternoon, well, you would stay out all night.

And this is, if I’m honest why Sundays are just so English.  They are over polite, full of all the boring bits the rest of the week doesn’t want, they are slow and uneventful, and in many ways entirely pointless once detached from all the other bits that make is a ‘Week’.  But therein lies the beauty of a Sunday and in a way England too.

A Sunday is a mish-mash day, where everything and, in a lot of places, everyone, gets together and celebrates something or other.  Sundays are a day when you relaxing-ly work, having to have something to ‘occupy our time’.  Sundays are a day that the majority of people actually for once all do the exact same thing, for on a Sunday, young old, black, white, posh, not, working, unemployed, educated, not….the majority of us on a Sunday morning, will be laying in bed, in pyjamas, or not, exuding that same sigh of ‘aaaaah, Sunday’.  Once this happens to you, once you first become aware of the happy Sunday Sigh, you too, have become ‘easy like a sunday morning’, join the community my friends you just had a Lionel moment, you are truly blessed!

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

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Dear David Cameron…

 
10 Downing Street
The Posh Place
London
SW 1A 2AA
 

Dear David Cameron,

I would like to introduce myself.  My [pen]Name is L.J.Simms, and I am a 23 year old, technically overweight, smoker, who is, unemployed. (I love the picture you have built in your mind about me already) I’m also a [2.1] graduate from Kent, who, has not only been to University for 3 years, but, who also has attended a Grammar School (all girls).  All, whilst living with my single mother (hero).

Your probably wondering what this is all about, so to get rid of some of the confusion, this letter is my way of telling you that your an awful Prime Minister, but I’ll get to that later, for now I want to tell you a bit more about me.

I started my life as a baby, (as I’m sure you did too) as I grew into a child there were many things I wanted to do in my lifetime.  Ride a bike, eat forbidden battenburg, be a chef, then a clown, then a stripper (not sure I knew what that meant at the time), I wanted to talk and learn and find out who I was whilst exploring the big bad world around me.  When I became a teenager there were many things I didn’t want to do in my lifetime.  Go to P.E lessons, listen to my mum, go with the flow, put my hand up in science, and I certainly didn’t want to grow up anymore.

In my later teens, I grew to learn a few more lessons…

  1. Boys are awesome.
  2. Boys are awesome.
  3. Government sucks!

From the moment I hit 16 government was all up in my grill [bothering me] telling me who to be, why to be and where I would be put if I wasn’t doing so.  I had to partake in A Levels that were deemed satisfactorly ‘intelligent’ enough to ‘back up’ my creative ‘skills’.  I then got told that University was the only next step, that I could be ‘nothing without a degree’.  So I did that too, 3 long years, in total I spent just over 17 years in education and yes I’ve learnt some things along the way, but nothing I couldn’t have learnt in the school of life.

Now, you are probably wondering what this has to do with you, correct?

You’re probably thinking, this letter is bin worthy, but I’m writing to you to sell you some home truths about how you and your government have turned this country to ruin and funnily enough it all started when you and Mr. Cleggypants came into power.

Blair was bad, Brown was awful but you sir, you…Are something else entirely.

I remember the big news, Brown was out, elections were in, the campus was alive with music and drinking and Lib-Dem cheers oh! and a tiny little voice in the corner saying “Vote Cameron”.  For once, everyone seemed to be excited about politics.  We all went to sleep that night dreaming sweet notions, of change, of democracy, of freedom (sorry the creative wasn’t all beaten out of me!)  The next day the news came in, “CON-DEM-NATION” and poor little cleggy was assigned to your ass.  You were like lucifer that day, stepping up onto that podium, and from that moment on I knew it was useless ever getting involved.

I soon left university, moved back home with my parent’s and started looking for work.  Only to be told I’d need 3 years more training to do anything with my degree and that I was deemed overqualified for having this qualification that needed extra qualifying to qualify me to stack shelves.  I landed at your home of the masses, the church of forced salvation, commonly known as the Job Center.  A place where lying is abundant and morale is obsolete and the scent of revolution is hidden in the supplies cupboard.

You not so long ago (nearly a year ago) made a speech, that I wish to give you some feedback on (p.s this is the bit where I tell you to stop being a bogus leader!).  Last week, as I sat on the foam chair awaiting my meeting with *Dawn* at the (job)center of lost hope I was casually reading over some recent news articles and came acros your speech from last year on ‘Big Society’.   Not being politic’s greatest fan I started to read with a cautious eye…

BLAH BLAH BLAH…England sucks….BLAH BLAH BLAH….I will heal you…..BLAH BLAH BLAH…..I’m really Odo from Star Trek……BLAH BLAH BLAH……Give me all your money…..BLAH BLAH BLAH…… Woah, hold on a minute…..”is this an excerpt from Mein Kampf?” were, Honestly, the words that slipped from my slack jaw.

“We must build that bigger, stronger society because we can’t keep tolerating the wasted lives and wasted potential that comes when talent is held back by circumstance. “

Would those circumstances be setting tuition fees so high that any student no matter where they are from can expect to be paying interest on their loans for the next 30 years of their life?

Would those circumstances be asking a child of 6 what they want to be when they grow up, then making them jump hoops instead of REALLY learning anything? (by the way I still have no freaking idea what x equals!)

 “But above all we must build a bigger, stronger society because in the end the things that make up that kind of society… strong families, strong communities, strong relationships… …these are the things that make life worth living and it’s about time we had a government and a Prime Minister that understands that. “

Strong Families?  Like the working class families who are constantly made to feel like the unworthy?  Press releases and speeches aimed at ‘the working class family’ made out to be slobby, lazy, and not worth decent pasty from greggs?

Strong Communities?  Like the strong cummunities that screamed out during the riots in London, screamed as their homes and businesses were burning, screamed whilst their streets were swarming with a volatile mass of angry angry people, screamed when their leader, oh and his right hand sock puppet Cleggy, OH! and his jack in the box pet Boris, were all off swanning it and enjoying the cocktails too much to jump on a PLANE and lead their damn nation.

and next, Your Royal Crapness Mr. Cameron…

Your Idea of Reward and Effort, is, in itself, not mildly but more ultimately, nothing more than, totally, offensive.  Are we pets now?  This nation that grinds and works, pays taxes, lights your home, polices your front door, mends your wounds and teaches your kids is, A NATION, not a naughty puppy who needs to be taught how to sit, stay and obey.

We deserve more respect than to be treated like that.  WE KNOWWWW, we are in a recession…have you thought about getting in with the BBC, they raised £26 million last year for Children in Need alone.

Get Lenny Henry and Susan Boyle in on it, we could sort out this recession mess in no time at all, if you combine Children in Need, Sport Relief, Comic Relief and the countless other drives for donations your looking at upwards of £100 million in a year EASY!  Can we not give those all a rest for one year? do 5 new ones… NHS in Need, Armed Forces Fever, Police Relief, Leech to Teach, Relax the Tax??

So in conclusion, because to be honest, I could literally bend your ear all day about how totally inept you are, and how you have no idea how anyone in this country apart from your own criteria of citizens live.  You have no clue what it’s like, to end 17 years of education to be told you are still not worthy and should’ve just become an accountant.

You are perpetuating a societal myth that working hard gets you to the top.  BULLSH*T! You operate on an entirely different social level to the majority of people on this planet, and I deem it unfair that someone like yourself should be allowed to run this country when you ‘politicians’ have clearly done such a BANG UP JOB OF IT over the years.

I call for revolution.

I call for social revolution.
(not riots chill out I’m against rioting)

I call for a leader of the people.

You are not a leader of the people David, you are a leader of the damned, and there will one day, be zombie films written about you, in years to come, when England is a wasteland and all that is left is poor little cleggy surviving underneath your rotting carcus.

My kindest regards, and humblest sincerity.

L.J.Simms

_________________

To read Cameron’s ‘Big Society Speech’ go HERE

To read Lucy Robinson’s letter to George Osbourne go HERE

anddddd

To read the Top 10 mistakes of David Cameron, FROM HIS OWN POLICTICAL PARTY….

go HERE

Happy Blogging

L.J.Simms

Here Comes the Sun, Do-Dun-Do-Do…

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter …
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here”

. . . . . . . . . Sun is Shining. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .Weather is sweet. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . Makes ya wanna move. . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . Ya dancin’ feet . . . . . .  . . . . . . .

The COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER has already begun, but recently us Brits have been having a test run.  With average temperatures reaching 23C in some places this past week, we have been livin’it up and basquing in the sunshine before the clouds rain and SNOW arrive next week.  With this in mind, and friends down this weekend it got me to thinking about all the things I love about summertime.  Now I’m a self confessed Fall/Autumn Bird!! I love big chunky knits, scarves, hats, jumpers, big thick jeans and my Ugg boots.  I’m not a massive fan of sun dresses and an awful lack of wooly tights!!

Although my moaning suggests I hate every single thing about the summer, there is an awful lot that I actually love about the summer months that I’m going to share with all of you today!…

♥ WATERMELON ♥

Oh my b-jeseee-juu-juuu-juicee!!..I LOVE WATERMELON, but I can only eat in in summer, fresh chopped up it’s refreshing as icy cool air and packs serious punches in smoothies and sorbets!! Classic contender for fruit salads and cocktail fish bowls all summer long, crack one of these out at a BBQ and no one will be complaining.

♥ NO SHOES ♥

Yes you heard me correct, I’m a no shoes girlie!! Some people find it weird, me? I love it!! No socks, crack out the old pedicure set, get buffing and polishing and get them little piggies out for all to see.  There is nothing better than wiggling your naked little toes in fresh mown grass, clean dusty sand or the cold water of the pond!

♥ SWIMMING [and floating] ♥

I love pools in the summer, going swimming in the winter always feels useless to me, you get in cold, you get out freezing, and wet, now you go out to your car and your frozen, icy, and still cold.  In the summer you get out the pool on holiday and the warm sun dries your skin gently, as your arm gets some much needed exercise lifting that 4th Mojito up and down and up and down, it’s the perfect exercise routine during those short lived summer moments.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ SUMMER ROMANCES ♥ ♥ ♥

Aren’t they just the best?  The rush of sneaking around, being cheeky, finding that magical someone on holiday who totally gets you and then the inevitable tragedy of returning to grey and stormy Britain and sitting by your window rembering how he sang that last song to you at Karaoke and the whole crowd at Butlin’s totally loved it!  He’s not your ‘usual’ type, but Ibiza helped you find him.  You wouldn’t normally ‘date’ a guy called Bertie, but the Gran Canaries allowed you to see past a name.  And you would NEVER sleep with a guy on a first date, but in Zante, every bar is a different date rightt???? well then we’ve been on 7!

Summer romance is the best, totally guilt free possibly teenage soul destroyingly beautiful romance!!

 ♥ GARDEN PARTIES ♥

 Oh my crystal balls, I love garden parties…paper plates, paper lanterns, paper cups, paper streamers, paper napkins Maybe it’s just the paper I like??  No, seriously, the atmosphere of a garden party, especially a British Garden Party is second to none!! Crack out the cider, get the sausage rolls sorted and bang on some Bob Marley, and summer has arrived!! Making sure there is sufficient cover from baking sun and nasty clouds and popping up fairy lights to lighten the dark when the sun comes down but the party continues!!  Eating Al Fresco, and having water fights in the summer sun! Marvellous!

 

NOW, NEXT UP IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SUMMER PLACES!

♥ BRIGHTON ♥

Brighton is one of those places that excites me as soon as I see the first sign for Lewes from Tunbridge Wells.  When me and Wonder Woman, are racing down the motorway knowing when we get there, the arcades are calling, the doughnuts are frying, the chips are being chipper and the lanes are calling us in with their lilting magic.  Brighton is the perfect summer place to be, especially in the lanes.  You feel like your in a different world when your shopping down there, with a smoothie in one hand and a bespoke cookie in the other you can be there for hours, then skipping down onto the sunsetted beach watching the old wreck drift off to sleep as the new pier comes alive with swirling rides and flashing lights, oh to be a Brighton Dweller…

 ♥ P.Y.O ♥

Being a Kentish girl, nothing excites me more than when the Pick Your Own signs start to pop up around the county.  The workers start to set up little stalls in the local laybys selling the freshest strawberries, raspberries and cherries that money can buy.  All the fruit that’s not ‘perfect’ enough for Tescos and the like, come straight into our homes down here in Kent and we are lucky lucky lucky!!  Kentish Strawberries, need no sugar, no cream NOTHING, just a bag filled to the brim and my own hand for picking them up and I’m in heaven!  

♥PIMMS’O’CLOCK♥

This is a magical time of day.  You don’t know about it?  Really?  Well let me tell you all about it.  Pimms’o’clock is a magical time of day where it becomes totally acceptable to start drinking large pitchers of this fabulously summery aperitif!  If you’ve never had pimms you gotts try it especially in the summer.  Top a large amounth up with lemonade and ramm it full of cucumber, mint, strawberries and oranges tonnes of ice and enjoy!!  The simplest, easiest way to get nicely merry on a summer’s eve!

~♥~ HOT AIR BALLOONS ~♥~

When I was a child, my Grampy and my Mum used to take me to a Balloon festival every other year or so.  It used to amaze me the different shapes, sizes, being able to see them so close fireing up the fires and filling the vast canopies with hot thick air, the basket gently lifting off the flattened grass and the excited passengers leaping inside.  When I see a Hot Air Balloon, I instantly drift of to being in the back of my Grampy’s car, driving somewhere and spotting one out the window in a dusky light driving back from my Great-Grandparents house.  I would see the balloon and tell my Gramps who would tell me to follow it till it flies over the bump…[the bump being the horizon]….they were always so fun to watch and track across the skies, a lovely summery memory!!

♥ DRESSING LIKE A HIPPY ‘COS IT’S FASHION ♥

I love this about Summer.  Now my Mumma dresses like a hippy all year round, me, I have to restrict it to the summertime, when the boho shades and long beach dusted hairstyles come back in.  The giant canvas bags, the calming pastels set against the bright whites and mellow taupes.  SUMMER comes alive in fashion and it’s the one time of year I find myself really having to FIND things to wear, but I love it, I buy a few key pieces and just mix’em’up Gok Wan stylee!!

One of the places where this one becomes like no other, and I dress only for comfort and comfort alone and that is…

♥ WOMAD ♥ 

The Womad festival is in this country for a mere 5 days at the end of July and everytime I’m getting ready to go, come rain or shine I know summer has well and truly begun!  This is the Siam Tent at Womad, it is beyond describing, nothing like eating hot churros in here!!

 ♥ BBQ’S BAYBEE ♥

Ain’t nothing summery without a BBQ!  I love to be inventive with my BBQs though, I love doing my chicken wings and burgers and hotdogs etc, but I love going to town and doing seafood skewers, lamb koftas, ribs, corn on the cob, baked potatoes stuffed with cream cheese and chives, my world famous potato salad, and my legendary Guacamole courtesy of my awesome cousin in Minneapolis!

Remember, BBQ’s ain’t nothing without BEER!

♥ROADTRIPPING♥

Is there anything better.  Than, jumping out of bed and packing a bag, stuffing it full of random mismatched clothes, grabbing a bottle of pop from the shop and leaping into a friend’s car and going for a drive?  To the  beach, to the park, to the lakes, to the forest, to…anywhere really!!

 FREEZE-POPS AND ICE-CREAM ♥ 

When it’s really hot, like so hot that you forget about wearing make up, you pull all your hair on top of your head so nothing touches your skin, you wear the lightest cotton clothes and the thinnest sandals and its just super hot.  Can you remember what it’s like, to open that freezer unit chocca-block full of ice cream and freezepops and ice lollies….It’s heaven!  I think my favourites HAD to be mini-milks! never chocolate always vanilla or strawberry!  When I remember them, they were the perfect combo of creamy ice cream and a freeze pop, they were 15p back in the day and totally AWESOME!

♥ SHADY PLACES AND SUNSET ♥ 

There’s a certain smell at this time of day in the summer.  It’s almost hazy, like plants and sea air and forests all mixed into one.  Like the random smell when a ladybird lands on your cheek, sorta mixed with the smell of hot rain on the tarmac, and a lingering of firewood.  Shady places under trees and next to walls are always interesting, little lines of ants making their way to the picnics, flowers growing in the cracks of walls and tiny birds taking a restful nap in the trees.

♥ MASSIVE SUNGLASSES ♥ 

AWESOME FASHION!! LOVE THEM!! Theres alot of aspects of summer that you kind of want to hide from teh rest of the world.  Big baggy eyes where you partied really hard at the weekend, sunburnt cheeks from the beach trip with the girls, peeling forehead where you caught the sun a bit too much, last night’s makeup up after a cheeky little flingo!!

 ♥ ICED TEA…………
……..Iced Tea……….
…………..ICED TEA ♥

My mum and I have a slight obsession with Iced Tea.  1.  It has to be LIPTON! 2. Mango sucks, Peach is okay, Lemon is the best.  3.  It must be served in a stemmed glass almost like a very large brandy glass, with lots of Ice, a Straw and by a delightful belgian waiter at Café De La Paix in Poperinge Belgium.  If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and this combination quite simply will never be broke!!  Oh, and a stay at Talbot House is always best.

♥ MEADOWS, GARDENS AND OTHER GREEN STUFF ♥

I’m not much of a countryside person, for someone who essentially lives in the countryside.  I’m not a fan of bugs, I don’t like walking through fields and I hate the idea of being chased by a fox or other wildlife.  When summer hits town, I love going out with my brother for long walks around the raspberry fields and through the woods, it’s always a laugh and when we go with Wonder Woman and Ruby the dog it’s so funny watching her want to sprint off whilst we are all lagging behind!

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST..

The best thing about summer??  The ultimate most awesome thing about a few random weeks of patchy sunshine, searing heat then freezing rain?? What I hear you scream is the best thing about an english summer???  It’s the people!  It’s being on the beach flying kites, it’s yelling at the outside tv’s that aren’t loud enough over the roar of the fans drinking outside whilst the pub stays silent, it’s clubbing with your mates and coming home to daylight at 5am, It’s helping your step-gran out at the local church fete, making cakes and treats to be served with tea, it’s the refreshing taste of orange squash after hating it all winter and enjoying it in massive jugs after a mammoth water fight….Summer, sun, long days, and longer weeks make for an amazing summer, and it’s the people that make it, nothing else matter’s really.

Hope you enjoyed this,

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms ♥