Birthday Schm-irthday…

This weekend, I turned 23, I have lived through 23 years and although alot of people older than myself would say “ahhh that’s nothing kiddo”, to me it’s starting to feel alot like I’m now sprinting towards middle age…

Age has never really meant that much to me, personally, with friends, in relationships.  I have been brought up socialising with such a diverse range of people that Age has never been anything more than a number to me.  When I turned 16, I felt like I had hit the big time, I was 16 and there was nothing you can do about it *insert tongue sticking out here*.

I got that overwhelming urge to go out and ‘make the most’ of my night out, you took your birthday in your stride at 16, you were happy to be having another birthday ‘HELL YEAH IT’S MY BIRTHDAY PEOPLES’.  When I turned 18 it was a similar feeling, I had a huge party and everybody came out to celebrate that I had turned into a woman, my family my friends, we all rejoiced with an insane amount of alcohol, we partied with a band and a DJ really going for it, not caring that I had just hit another milestone and time was quickly speeding up.

21, the last truly memorable birthday till you turn 30, the last birthday that is joyfully celebrated, remembered by all, and eagerly anticipated.  Turning 21 is a right of passage, it has such a place in our lives that it is almost like a landmark, a time set in stone.  My 21st was messy, chaotic and absolutely insane, but I would not change that memory for £1,000,000.

Then it hits you…Birthday’s are now going to change.

From this moment onwards, birthday’s become tiresome.  You spend your day waiting for people to call, you open less cards, but you do get more memorable presents, things that seem to last longer and mean more.  You start to arrange ‘evenings’ instead of parties.  Meals, Drinks, Coffees replace Clubbing, Raves and House Parties.

Birthday Schmirthday, was my opening statement to my 23rd this year.  From underneath a pit of duvet and hangover reminding me i’m not as young as I used to be all I could think was, “Birthday Schmirthday”  then the excitement grew as I received beautiful gifts, and whilst I drank my tea I thought happily awww “birthday schmirthday” as I reminded myself it wasn’t all bad.  As I got dressed for the evenings revelry I thought mmmm “Birrrrrthday schmirrrthday” as I pondered on how grown up and sophisticated I looked in my earrings and updo combination, and finally, as I sat around a table with good family, eating good food, watching good friends play good music, I thought to myself in a soft, toy-storyesque voice “birthday Schmirthday” because although I was getting older, and my birthday’s were now following a different more mature path, I realised that I had chalked up another year and I was starting to grow up.

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

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The Meaning of Friendship

Sometimes, in life, when your sat in that moment, when your totally alone, it’s your truest friends that cross your mind…

Mark Twain once said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”  Throughout my life, there have been very dark moments of grief, moments that have seen me in the deepest of holes with nothing but my own hands to bring me out. At those moments, friends seem obsolete, friends seem to add more weight to already heavy hearts. Friends want to do so much for you, they want to help and bring you out of your sadness, but that weakened smile you return them always says the same thing, ‘Please, stop trying so hard’.

True friendship is defined as a natural reaction, to a feeling of unconditional love and ultimate support towards a person not of blood relation, in all areas of their life.  This is why, TRUE friends will take that weakened smile from you, turn around and make you a cup of tea, this is why TRUE friends can accept the worst of bad situations, and are willing to wait til the tides turn in your favour.

True friendship is like sitting inside a panic room, whilst the world spins out of control around you.  If  you watch children [in a non predatory totally innocent completely PC kind of way] they run around experiencing true friendship every moment of everyday.  They share and love so freely, they console without consideration of anything other than helping the hurt.  It’s only when we reach our teens that things get in the way of that pure sense of friendship, we start picking cliques, choosing styles, liking trends and well, growing up!  It’s only until you grow up some more that you realise, you kinda wish you were 5 again only arguing over who had the best sandwiches at lunchtime.

TIMON AND PUMBAA, THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Friends have always meant ‘family’ to me, friends have always been more than someone to go shopping with…

In later life [I know i’m only 22 (23 on Saturday though) but I have friends of all ages] I think friends become more important, you start realising that all those FRIENDS you thought you had are now a very carefully selected FAMILY.  A bunch of people who literally know you better than you do, yes mates come and go throughout your time on this doomed planet of ours, but friends, they taken time to craft, they take investment.  They become the people who have scraped you off the pub floor, slapped you when you’ve been an arsehole, told you to man up when your being petty, hugged you when you’ve messed up and taken care of you when you’ve needed it most.

True friends aren’t necessarily there every day like the ‘best friends’ of yester year, true friends can go months without talking, as long as when they do talk it’s like you spoke 10 minutes ago and you wonder why they are calling again.  True friends aren’t the people that need your attention 24/7/365…true friends, only when they really have to, send you a text to request your urgent presence.

It’s only until we’re old and wrinkly that we go back to that innocence of friendship, that time it doesn’t matter who you talk to, your just happy to be talking.  That time when you share and love freely again, and if you are clever enough to keep life long friends til this time in your life, you start to realise that these may be the last times you spend with them, so you go back to doing silly things together, reminiscing about old times and setting out on new adventures with friends old and new, it’s just like being 6 again, because there are no barriers again, no restrictions or constraints, your back in that panic room without a care in the world apart from being together.

ONLY TRUE FRIENDS CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS!! I ONCE SHRINK WRAPPED A FRIENDS BEDROOM AT UNIVERSITY WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND CATERING SIZED CLING FILM, NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS HYSTERICAL AND TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

So, I shall end this post with a little story, a modern fable if you will…

THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 BEERS 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. 

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between The golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed. 

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car. 

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into
the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on
the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. 

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend
time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents.  Enjoy being with your friends.

Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really 
matter.

Set your priorities.

‘The rest is just sand.’ 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ 
The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’ 

And that my beauties, is The Meaning of Friendship.

Thank you for reading, I hope my post makes you think of your friends and who knows maybe you’ll send them a cheeky link to this to remind them that what you have is TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

I.Get.By.With.A.Little.Help.From.My.Friends…

I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING…

That is one tasty looking basket right there!  This was the late night ASDA shopping that occurred with my best friend Wonder Woman.  It also needs to be stated that we were waiting at the make your own pizza counter when this picture was taken,  so add a large 18″ BBQ base chicken, pepperoni, mushroom and sweetcorn stuffed crust pizza to that basket and you have yourselves the perfect night in.

You know, I couldn’t live without Wonder Woman, we don’t see each other EVERY day, and we have our own separate lives, but when either of us really need each other the other one is always there, with a chocolate bar, a cuppa rosy-lea and a cuddle.  With us, friendship has no boxes, it has no boundaries, no guidelines that it must fulfill, it just exists.  We have been through the really tough times, and we have been through the amazing times, we started our friendship under the weirdest of circumstances and continue to surprise ourselves every time we see each other.  We understand the fundamental ticking of each others brain cogs and I would go as far as to say we know each other better than anyone else knows us.

Being with Wonder Woman alot recently got me to thinking…how is it that we work so well?  What is it that we do, that means our friendship has lasted this long, HOW DID we get through that…and HOW DID she put up with this…and WHY DID I allow that to happen and WHEN DID we start to grow old together?  I can’t start to imagine that I know the secret formula to a perfect friendship, because our friendship is far from perfect, we do have times where ‘If I’m Honest’ (private joke :P) we want to rip each others heads off and serve them for breakfast to the local duck pond, but you know what I wouldn’t trade her for anyone.  And, even though it is slightly childish and immature to say this, I would just like to say Wonder Woman?…BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

So I say to you, go find your best friend, go give them a cuddle, take them for a pint, and celebrate that you have made it through however long you have made it through, every minute counts in the year of the apocalypse!!

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x