The Truth is out there, Secret Service is really The Ministry of Magic…

WELL BUGGAR ME…It turns out that J.K.Rowling was the paperback version of wikileaks!  As I was surfing the net today I found this intrigueing article which suggest that the Ministry of Magic is real, not only that potter fans, but the dark arts are here as well!

I was casually surfing the news net as I do on friday afternoons and I came across an item that stopped me dead in my tracks.  First of all the tragic nature of the article but also the extraordinary content of the article itself.  [found here

I have been a Harry Potter fan since I was first given one of the books in about 2003-04ish.  The experience of reading Harry Potter, is one I shall treasure for many years, and hopefully one day pass onto any future generations of Simms’.  There was never a moment that went by where I didn’t wish to one day find out the veil between the muggle and wizarding world would shatter and I would be chosen to go to Hogwarts on an exchange program.  The beautiful imagery by Queen Rowling made that fantasy so easy growing up, waiting for that next book like a window into this secret world that could oh so possibly be possibly maybe real…possibly….maybe?  Well it seems the fantasy and ‘magic’ may have been lost from that dream of mine after stumbling upon this tragic article on the BBC news website…

Today on 30th March 2012 [I’m aware very close to April fool’s day, so if this turns out to be a prank I FOUND IT FIRST] I read this article which stated…

“An MI6 officer whose body was found in a holdall may have been killed by an agent “specialising in the dark arts of the secret services”, a court heard.”

[ cited: here ]

The victim, Gareth Williams was found in horrific circumstances at the age of 31.  His body was found inside a locked holdall, yet strangely there was no evidence, DNA or otherwise to suggest that someone had locked him into it, which has raised suspicions as to how the victim came to be there in the first place.  The whole story is strange after stranger, there was no evidence at Gareth’s apartment in Pinlico, London, no evidence what so ever of Gareth’s existence in the apartment he resided in alone.

It has been suggested that evidence may have been removed by a seriously intelligent person/group of people, including a statement from laywer Anthony O’toole that suggests something entirely unexpected may have been at the root of the investigation…

He said: “The impression of the family is that the unknown third party was a member of some agency specialising in the dark arts of the secret services – or evidence has been removed post-mortem by experts in the dark arts.”. . .

Does this prove a possible link between our government and a higher one?  Are we truly being taken for utter mug(gle)s?

I have an opinion on politics that may not sit lightly with many people, and if I did live in America I would probably be silenced very quickly.  I don’t get involved in political protest, I don’t even vote.  [I can hear the crowd with pitchforks and the boo’s already!]  I feel it would be hypocritical of myself, to vote for any system that I do not believe in or respect.  I find government to be based on false promises and a bed of conceated lies.  I think the world leaders are entirely out of touch with the true nature of their people, and I think there is more than a small amount of information that is kept from the populations of every country on this planet.

I do believe in conspiracy theories.

And I do still get shocked when articles like this one arise from the ashes and are kept tucked into the back alley’s of our news feeds, left to trend on twitter and fizzle out in an ever moving society.  This gentleman worked for MI6, CIA-esque bullsh*t in my opinion.  His killer has still not been found.  Does he not deserve justice?  Does he not deserve Rest.In.Peace above his head instead of Unknown.Killer?

It’s articles like this that encourage me to stay behind the bright lights, in the shadows…because I have no idea what goes on in the world of the well lit.  it’s almost like there are 2 worlds, both real but only one realistic, the other is a dream world played by men [and women] who maybe watched a few too many Bond films as kids…

My condolences go out to Gareth’s family if your out there and I put it to you…are we really muggles?  Is there a Ministry of Magic, and do we really know what is going on on this planet, or should we just Keep Calm and Carry on?

Personally, I have the tin foil hats ready for the invasion, the concrete underground bunker for the zombies, My fake death eater stick on tattoo for when Voldemort comes a knocking, and a speech prepared for the day I get to say ‘I Told You So’…

Happy Blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

Advertisements

How To Cure A Hangover

Firstly, I’d just like to start this post by apologising for my absence of late, I have a note from my mom, that states why I have been absent from wordpress and I promise to make up all the work in the next week…

Hangovers are a messy business, they hurt, they bother, they bug and they bum you out mayyn!

hang.o.ver

[hang-oh-ver] NOUN
1. the disagreeable physical aftereffects of drunkenness, such as a headache or stomach disorder, usually felt several hours after cessation of drinking.
2. something remaining behind from a former period or state of affairs.
3. any aftermath of or lingering effect from a distressing experience: the post-Watergate hangover in Washington.

THE HANGOVER, a great movie, not a great feeling!  Whether you have been slamming shots at a bachelorette party, drinking cocktails on a yacht, downing pints with the lads or hitting the box of vino in the fridge, drinking will always lead to some sort of hangover the next day.  If you suffer from a mild or even catatonic hangover, these remedies should help you get back to normal a.s.a.p.

So, here are my TOP 10 Hangover Cures, try them all out and see what works for you, and once you find it, you’ll want to kiss me, saying ‘goodbye’ to horrible hangovers for the rest of your life:)

If you have the stomach for it, and haven't already chimichanga'd all over your bathroom sink...

#1 – MEXICAN FOOD AMIGOS!!

Mexican food is not probably the first thing that comes to mind when you crack open that one eye and realise, ‘oh yes that was a heavy night’  But it defintely should be on your list of things to remember.  Mexican food has some great hangover fighting properties that will have you reaching for the enchiladas in no time!

  1. Cilantro (Coriander) – Awesome Inflammation fighter.  So all those swollen heads and tight limbs, will be eased by this tasty little herb.
  2. Avocado – Packed full of Vitamin E and essential fatty acids, Avocados really help with the abosorbtion of moisture and other vital vitamins, so reach for the Guacamole my friends and get scooping with the nachos!
  3. Beans – Remember to pack in those refried beans on any dish you have, even ask for extra.  Beans are full of energy boosting fibre and loads of antioxidants which will help you start to feel less like a zombie and more human sooner than you can say ¿dónde está la salsa.
  4. Chillis – I learnt this lesson at Uni, Chillis are an incredible pain killer.  The hotter the better, pack them in and get chomping, the active ingredient in chillis will help combat the aches and pains from a heavy night on the tiles and give you the fiery boost to get up and out of bed.
 

TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST
What do you put in a toaster?

#2 – TOAST ME HOMIES

Now toast may not seem like a great cure-all creation, but it all depends on the topping!!

  1. MARMITE – This gooey spread has the entire world split in terms of its appeal.  If you are in #TEAMMARMITE then stock up if your planning a big night out.  Marmite is backed full of B vitamins which are good for your liver, kidneys and nervous system, all things damaged in some way by drinking alcohol!
  2. JAM – Now, you must make sure the jam is a majority fruit preserve or jelly.  If you have a high fruit content in your jam, the levels of fructose and fruit vitamins can actually promote the growth and repair of all body tissues.  Sweet huh?
  3. PEANUT BUTTER – Yes, I know it’s high in fat and very calorific, but you’ve just sank a tonne of calories on alcohol so go with me on this one!! Although high in fat, Peanut Butter is also high in fibre.  Get spreading and get those bowels moving!!
  4. HONEY – So, bees are annoying, but they truly did a marvellous job at creating the PERFECT hangover cure!  Honey is awesome, and if you like the taste then get spreading!  Honey has fantastic properties including being a natural antihistamine, anti-inflammatory AND anti-bacterial, honey boosts energy, can help with weight loss AND more importantly helps to speed up the oxidation of alcohol by the liver.  This causes a ‘sobering’ effect and can help you get going quicker the next morning.

Okay I agree, this picture is not really what we all look like trying to drink water in the mornings when all we can taste is that last cocktail and jaegerbomb!

#3 – WATER, WATER, WHO’S GOT THE WATER

Okay so this is an obvious one isn’t it?  but it generally does work.  Drinking alcohol can cause severe dehydration, which causes the brain to swell, which makes your head pound, your eyes hurt and your self inflicted hang over feel like your dying.  Drink some water duddde!! If not before you go to sleep definatly after to wake up, make it your first port of call.  You can also lose alot of electrolytes when drinking so after a few glasses of water try to have something like Lucozade, Poweraid or Gatoraid to replace those little fella’s in the old brainio!

If you can manage getting up and the mornign breath, CRACK ON MY FRIENDS! for the good of mankind get jiggy with it!

#4 – BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WAOOMMMM SEXY TIME PEOPLE!

Okay, so, sex…or some sort of physically yummy time…BASICALLY,  *blushing*, COME ON L.J PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! SEX IS A GREAT HANGOVER CURE, it gets all the endorphins going, makes you feel all stupid and happy and sweats out all the alcohol, now my mum reads my blog, and even has it bookmarked, so I can’t go into any detail for fear of getting a ‘talking to’ and having that feeling of utter embarassment wash over me like a wave of humiliation.  So this section gets a… just try it and see…..comment!!

Mix it up, get creative, but make them in advance do you don't have to hear that god awful, head ripping noise that is the blender!!

#5 – JUICEE SMOOTHIEE

Now this one I think sort of explains itself.  Fruit and veg, blended up to create an explosion of taste and handfuls of multi vitamin goodness, blah blah blah… so here are the best combos 🙂

  1. CARROT ZINGER – Apples,Carrots & Ginger – Good for icky stomach
  2. MELON SQUEEZER – Frozen Strawberries, Watermelon & Fresh Lime – Vitamin C
  3. HAIR OF THE DOG – Cranberry Juice, Frozen Strawberries, Shot of Vodka – got the balls?
  4. BEEZ KNEES – Honey, Orange Juice, Natural Yoghurt – Sobers you up quickly
  5. MEXICAN STAND OFF – Pineapple, Pear, Ginger, Aloe Vera – Hydration

THERE IS NO HEALTHY CHEMICAL REASON FOR THIS, THIS IS JUST THE BEST HANGOVER BUT THERE IS SOME SCIENCEY STUFF..... I think????

#6 – GOOD OLD ENGLISH ‘FRY UP’

God my mouth is watering on this one!! This is my personal cure of choice, preferably cooked by someone else as the actual cooking process makes me icky, but all the same, the amazing combo of fat lard and grease mixed with some veg and meat tends to do the trick on pesky hangovers.  For those of my readers who remain outside of the U.K the ‘Good Old English Fry Up’ is a combination of foods, tossed in a frying pan one by one, to make a hungry man’s breakfast!

THE USUAL COMPONENTS??

  1. Eggs (Fried, Poached, Scrambled, Boiled, anyway you prefer!)
  2. Bacon (In my opinion, GOT TO BE SMOKED!)
  3. Sausages
  4. Baked Beans
  5. Toast or Fried Bread (Bread usually fried after the bacon has been in the pan!!)
  6. Mushrooms
  7. Tomatoes
  8. Black Pudding (never on my plate, but the blood sausage likes to appear sometimes)
  9. Hash Browns (sometimes, in Cafés you get chips [fries] but not really often!)
  10. Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, Brown Sauce!!

Now it has to be fresh or it doesn't count you cheaters!!

#7 – GINGER MA NINJAS!!!

Ginger is truly #Amazeballs if you don’t mind the taste honestly get it in everything!! Whack it in an early morning juice drink, slam it in a midday stir fry, boil it up with some honey and a tea bag for a fresh alternative, chop it up into some cookies and bake when you wake!  Ginger is a fantastic root – herb?? spice!! SPICE!! there we go, Ginger is a fantastic root spice, that can aide indigestion, sore throats, headaches, constipation, nausea AND vomiting and so much more.  Just a little bit and you can start to feel the effects.  I love to chop a little bit off, peel it, and smoosh it a bit to get the juice out, then dropping it in a pot of Chai tea, enahncing the flavour of the Chai and really giving myself an early morning WAKE UP call!!

No, Rupert Grint isn't a Hangover Cure, although I would gratefully do number #4 with him any day!! Ah hell where am I?? oh yes.....it's not poor little Ronald Weasley, NO!! look closely at his top lip, IT'S MILK!!!
(Shameful perving over Rupert Grint, I apologise)

#8 – GOT MILK??

My mum has always told me, that before I go out drinking I should always drink a big glass of milk, just to line my stomach, I never do it but this got me to thinking, could milk be a good cure as well as a prevention method?  Doing some searching I realised that milk has some great properties for helping the day after a big drink…

  • EASE STRESS
    Milk has been proven to help ease the symptoms of stress and even PMS, as well as being a great energy booster milk can calm those worries of ‘what the hell did I do last night?’.
  • VITAMIN A & B
    Milk is packed full of Vitamin A & B which among other things helps with eyesight, feeling a bit hazy after a skinfull, sip a glass of milk to help get back that 20/20 vision.
  • ANTACIDS
    Milk is as many of you know is a good fighter against heartburn and indigestion.  After a belly full of beer, Milk can help repair that fragile stomach lining of yours, coating it and calming it ready for a large helping of hangover food!
  • PROTEIN
    The proteins in milk, help to rebuild muscles, awesome after a gym session, but also great after a night where you’ve thrown a few shapes that you haven’t necessarily thrown in a while, a glass of milk ro two can help to reduce the soreness the next morning!!
  • SKIN GLOWING ACIDS
    Sounds scary huh? It’s not honest!! I used to work at The Body Shop, and if there is one thing I know it’s that your skin is very important and surprisingly easy to damage!!  Milk is packed with Lactic and Amino Acids, 2 things that are rammed into expensive face creams, lotions and potions!  So fight that awful zombie face by always removing your make up before you sleep and drink some milk the next day to defeat that sallowed skin!

Yes that's right, Will Smith was entirely correct, THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLDDDDDDDD, ermmm ok it's just an app but seriously, techy-cures?? what is the world coming to?

#9 – SPOCK’S HANGOVER CURE!

Thought you had seen it all?  Thought that I was scraping the bottom of the barrel??  Thought I was done making you think I had lost it???  WELL NOT FOR LONG MY BEAUTIES!!  What you see above you there is a neat little app.  An app that claims to relieve your hanovers through the power of low frequency theta and delta waves that calm and relieve the brain during a hangover.

Now, I am a slight simpleton when it comes to all this brainwaves and hovercraft talk, but I am a total geek at heart and wanted to know more, so here is my little guide to brainwaves…

  • BETA Your totally awake, completely active in the brainy department
  • ALPHA Your Daydreaming, meditating, relaxing with a few OHHHMMMMS
  • THETA Your drifting in and out of sleep, you know when you start to dribble
  • DELTA Your in deep sleep, where all functionality of the brain is taken outside of the imaginable and can operate outside the confines of linear space and time.

So you see, this app, replicates the two states in which your brain is at its calmest, most relaxed states allowing your hangover to subside as your mind quietens down a bit!  Try it for your self HERE and let me know how it works!

Definatly Dying, always dying...
"But mum I can't do the dishes, I'm dying..."
"Baby, I can't scrub your hairy back, I'm dying..."
"Dude, I would defeat your ass at MarioKart, but, I'm dying!"

#10 – Prevention Over Cure

Now, this is the part where I’m supposed to say, don’t drink, be good and healthy and don’t destroy your liver, do not have that 14th JaegerBomb, no that Cocktail will not taste nice repeated, and yes that 27th beer is definatly a bad idea.  But hell, we all do it, we all make mistakes, and we all have hysterical memories about ‘that guy who got naked and climbed the lamp post’.

The best way to stop a Hangover though is to be well prepared before you go out.  Always try to eat something, and don’t do that whole ‘if I don’t eat I’ll get drunker quicker’ thing, it’s reallllly bad for you and can actually cause tissue damage!! Try and line your stomach with carbs, they release their energy slowly and also give your stomach something to fight the alcohol with!  Drink a glass of milk as my mum says and when you get home, make some toast or grab something out your fridge.

If all else fails, hang onto the kitchen floor so you don’t fall off, keep your shoes on for alcoholic trips and remember not all dwarves are house elves, it’s not right to throw socks at them and scream ‘DOBBY YOUR FREE!’

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J x