Sometimes, in life, when your sat in that moment, when your totally alone, it’s your truest friends that cross your mind…
Mark Twain once said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” Throughout my life, there have been very dark moments of grief, moments that have seen me in the deepest of holes with nothing but my own hands to bring me out. At those moments, friends seem obsolete, friends seem to add more weight to already heavy hearts. Friends want to do so much for you, they want to help and bring you out of your sadness, but that weakened smile you return them always says the same thing, ‘Please, stop trying so hard’.
True friendship is defined as a natural reaction, to a feeling of unconditional love and ultimate support towards a person not of blood relation, in all areas of their life. This is why, TRUE friends will take that weakened smile from you, turn around and make you a cup of tea, this is why TRUE friends can accept the worst of bad situations, and are willing to wait til the tides turn in your favour.
True friendship is like sitting inside a panic room, whilst the world spins out of control around you. If you watch children [in a non predatory totally innocent completely PC kind of way] they run around experiencing true friendship every moment of everyday. They share and love so freely, they console without consideration of anything other than helping the hurt. It’s only when we reach our teens that things get in the way of that pure sense of friendship, we start picking cliques, choosing styles, liking trends and well, growing up! It’s only until you grow up some more that you realise, you kinda wish you were 5 again only arguing over who had the best sandwiches at lunchtime.
Friends have always meant ‘family’ to me, friends have always been more than someone to go shopping with…
In later life [I know i’m only 22 (23 on Saturday though) but I have friends of all ages] I think friends become more important, you start realising that all those FRIENDS you thought you had are now a very carefully selected FAMILY. A bunch of people who literally know you better than you do, yes mates come and go throughout your time on this doomed planet of ours, but friends, they taken time to craft, they take investment. They become the people who have scraped you off the pub floor, slapped you when you’ve been an arsehole, told you to man up when your being petty, hugged you when you’ve messed up and taken care of you when you’ve needed it most.
True friends aren’t necessarily there every day like the ‘best friends’ of yester year, true friends can go months without talking, as long as when they do talk it’s like you spoke 10 minutes ago and you wonder why they are calling again. True friends aren’t the people that need your attention 24/7/365…true friends, only when they really have to, send you a text to request your urgent presence.
It’s only until we’re old and wrinkly that we go back to that innocence of friendship, that time it doesn’t matter who you talk to, your just happy to be talking. That time when you share and love freely again, and if you are clever enough to keep life long friends til this time in your life, you start to realise that these may be the last times you spend with them, so you go back to doing silly things together, reminiscing about old times and setting out on new adventures with friends old and new, it’s just like being 6 again, because there are no barriers again, no restrictions or constraints, your back in that panic room without a care in the world apart from being together.
So, I shall end this post with a little story, a modern fable if you will…
THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 BEERS
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between The golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car.
The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into
the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on
the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important
‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend
time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents. Enjoy being with your friends.
Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really
Set your priorities.
‘The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’
The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’
And that my beauties, is The Meaning of Friendship.
Thank you for reading, I hope my post makes you think of your friends and who knows maybe you’ll send them a cheeky link to this to remind them that what you have is TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,