The Meaning of Friendship

Sometimes, in life, when your sat in that moment, when your totally alone, it’s your truest friends that cross your mind…

Mark Twain once said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”  Throughout my life, there have been very dark moments of grief, moments that have seen me in the deepest of holes with nothing but my own hands to bring me out. At those moments, friends seem obsolete, friends seem to add more weight to already heavy hearts. Friends want to do so much for you, they want to help and bring you out of your sadness, but that weakened smile you return them always says the same thing, ‘Please, stop trying so hard’.

True friendship is defined as a natural reaction, to a feeling of unconditional love and ultimate support towards a person not of blood relation, in all areas of their life.  This is why, TRUE friends will take that weakened smile from you, turn around and make you a cup of tea, this is why TRUE friends can accept the worst of bad situations, and are willing to wait til the tides turn in your favour.

True friendship is like sitting inside a panic room, whilst the world spins out of control around you.  If  you watch children [in a non predatory totally innocent completely PC kind of way] they run around experiencing true friendship every moment of everyday.  They share and love so freely, they console without consideration of anything other than helping the hurt.  It’s only when we reach our teens that things get in the way of that pure sense of friendship, we start picking cliques, choosing styles, liking trends and well, growing up!  It’s only until you grow up some more that you realise, you kinda wish you were 5 again only arguing over who had the best sandwiches at lunchtime.

TIMON AND PUMBAA, THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Friends have always meant ‘family’ to me, friends have always been more than someone to go shopping with…

In later life [I know i’m only 22 (23 on Saturday though) but I have friends of all ages] I think friends become more important, you start realising that all those FRIENDS you thought you had are now a very carefully selected FAMILY.  A bunch of people who literally know you better than you do, yes mates come and go throughout your time on this doomed planet of ours, but friends, they taken time to craft, they take investment.  They become the people who have scraped you off the pub floor, slapped you when you’ve been an arsehole, told you to man up when your being petty, hugged you when you’ve messed up and taken care of you when you’ve needed it most.

True friends aren’t necessarily there every day like the ‘best friends’ of yester year, true friends can go months without talking, as long as when they do talk it’s like you spoke 10 minutes ago and you wonder why they are calling again.  True friends aren’t the people that need your attention 24/7/365…true friends, only when they really have to, send you a text to request your urgent presence.

It’s only until we’re old and wrinkly that we go back to that innocence of friendship, that time it doesn’t matter who you talk to, your just happy to be talking.  That time when you share and love freely again, and if you are clever enough to keep life long friends til this time in your life, you start to realise that these may be the last times you spend with them, so you go back to doing silly things together, reminiscing about old times and setting out on new adventures with friends old and new, it’s just like being 6 again, because there are no barriers again, no restrictions or constraints, your back in that panic room without a care in the world apart from being together.

ONLY TRUE FRIENDS CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS!! I ONCE SHRINK WRAPPED A FRIENDS BEDROOM AT UNIVERSITY WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND CATERING SIZED CLING FILM, NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS HYSTERICAL AND TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

So, I shall end this post with a little story, a modern fable if you will…

THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 BEERS 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. 

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between The golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed. 

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car. 

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into
the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on
the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. 

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend
time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents.  Enjoy being with your friends.

Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really 
matter.

Set your priorities.

‘The rest is just sand.’ 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ 
The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’ 

And that my beauties, is The Meaning of Friendship.

Thank you for reading, I hope my post makes you think of your friends and who knows maybe you’ll send them a cheeky link to this to remind them that what you have is TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

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The Meaning of Life According to Nintendo


Sometimes, okay, truth time, ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS, I often wonder what it would be like to live in a world just like Mario.  Feeling a bit lousy? Go on an adventure mission to save a princess, Tired of feeling small? Eat some red mushrooms feel a little bigger, Not feeling strong today? Strap on a blue shell suit, get some armour on that fragile self of yours! Bored of life all together? Here’s a green mushroom, now it’s coming in fast you gotta jump for it at just the ….. right…..moment…..

AHHHH DANG IT! you missed it!, ah well, do a few more levels and you’ll get another one, just earn a shit tonne of coinage, struggle through a few levels, die a couple of times and have the princess robbed from you a few more and then…..hang on…wait…

Maybe we are already living in a Nintendo game? No seriously think about it.  You never really ‘get the princess’ till your on your last ‘level’ about to face the ‘big boss’ and you realise you’ve just been chasing fruitless dreams for all of eternity!

What if we treated life more like a game, and less like a death sentence?  Instead of chasing this ideal of what we ‘should be’ chasing, why don’t we just go for what we fancy that day?  What would happen if Mario decided actually you know what?  Princess Peach isn’t all that great anyway,  All this work and no hanky panky afterwards?? REALLY?? Just a pat on the back and a ‘well done’…I mean he’s so busy rushing through the levels to save her, half the time you never get to experience the entire game anyways, there are always cheats and bonus levels that you miss out on if all you strive to do is save the darn princess.

No, from now on, I’m not going to play this life like Mario,  I’m going to be one of Luigi!! Yeah, he got the whole deal right you know, pop in and out when you like to help out, but don’t get bogged down with the big picture, make enough money to keep yourself happy, but don’t pimp out your entire self to be the face of something, Have whatever princess you like, because your not bound to one single game, NO, #TeamLuigi all the way!!

So here’s to the apocalypse generation!  Hold your heads high my friends and repeat after me…

#TEAMLUIGI #TEAMLUIGI #TEAMLUIGI

@thecommontarte , let’s start a revolution!

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

How to Cope with Being Unemployed

So, currently I’m unemployed.  It’s a crap life but somebody’s
got to do it.I’ve been unemployed for 3 months, I’ve worked
since I was 15 and I spent 3 years doing a degree.  You’d think I’m
suitable for something, anything,I would clean toilets if it
meant that I was earning some decent cash that I honestly feel I
worked hard to deserve to earn.  When you go to University
everyone tells you it’s the right thing to do, you HAVE
to do it if you want to make your life better than the
average bear’s!  What a mistake it was to listen
to that advice!  Honestly, in my humble opinion, I think unless
your going to TRAIN for a profession, don’t bother, it’s not
worth your time or debt! Since losing my job, I’ve tried
every which way possible to get a Job.  I’ve tried recruitment
agencies, Online jobsites, unemployment agencies.  I’ve even
tried to get funding to start my own studio for my artwork but
no joy anywhere! I recently had to apply for JobSeeker’s
Allowance and to tell you all the truth…
It’s killing me, I hate it, I hate having to accept money that I
haven’t earnt plus along with the overwhelming feeling of
un-accomplishment I have to have the telephone meetings with
the Job Seeker Lady, the woman who bless her
heart find the most inane jobs available and tries to palm them off on me…

That’s right! ME! The woman who got a flaming DEGREE!
I’ve got 4 Alevels! I’ve got 12 GCSEs!!!
THEY ALL TOLD ME I’D GET A JOB INSTANTLY!!!!!!!

See what I mean kids? My advice? don’t stick in school,
get out as soon as is legal, get your backsides down to an
apprenticeship, or work to learn scheme this further education
stuff is boll***s if you ask me!! £12,000 and I’m still no
closer to a well paid salary job than the homeless
guy who lives by tescos!

So after I speak with Job Seeker Sue, I get a call from the
Recruitment Man Sam, his smarmy voice, and sales talk makes
me cringe, I’ve worked in sales related jobs all my life, these
people think I can’t recognise the sales banter?? REALLY?
Then comes the prep for the interview. what to say,
what NOT to say…and OH WAIT

“Definitely don’t mention that you worked in childcare…”

“Hi there, hello, yes, hi can you hear me, oh great,
*smarmy sales voice*
hiiiiiiiiiii
yes great to talk to youuuuuu,
yesssss I meann I’ve…

*here comes the sales banter crap
Recruitment Man Sam tells me to say*

yes.I.mean.I’ve.worked.in.sales.for.many.years.and.I’ve.
managed.a.team.of.up.to.6.working.on.the.analytical.
basis.that.I.prepare.all.their.time.managment.graphs.and.
yes.I.work.towards.target.based.memorandums.and.of.
course.I.can.work.microsoft.office.to.grade.A.standard.yesssss.
I’ve pioneered.flights.to.Gambia.and.yes.of.course.I’m.
fully.trained.in.zombie.attack.protocol.and.yes.I.have.the.statuatory.
2,000,000.years.worth.of.experience.that.is.vital.to.
know.how.to.sell.someone.paper.waste.management.and.
I.always.carry.my.iPhone.because.of.course.I.would.never.own
a.blackberry.and.I.would.love.to.discuss.this.role.further.
with.you.your.highness.who.I.need.to.give.me.a.job.because.I’m…

!DESPERATE!

Day 86 of unemployment, and I’m tired.

Yes I said it, I’m freaking tired, I do nothing all day,
but drink coffee, eat toast, watch Jeremy Kyle and imagine
up blog posts.  I make dozens of Paper Cranes all day not
only to stop me going insane from not smoking (because I
can’t afford it) but also because I’m bored! I sit and read
cookery books that I can’t cook from because I have no money
I watch QVC, and dream of owning the quick fire
chopper upper thingy because I have no life
I constantly chew my nails and stare at my BBm,
Whatsapp, Facebook AND Twitter because my friends
are all at work and I get excited over my afternoon milky coffee
because I pretend its a caramel latte from costa, minus the caramel!

I’m writing a novel…
Yeah I can do that, I’m creating an art installation too, and I’m
trying internet dating I’m desperately trying to keep the
creative creature inside me amused, so I don’t lose hope
that one day, someone will think I’m not half bad, and
trust that my CV isn’t the end of all things, and
SOMETIMES, you have to TRUST someone,
not just check theirfacebook to see what a mess
they were at the last festival they attended.

(I was a state!)

I FOUND A JOB

OH MY SHIT I FOUND A JOB

It’s perfect, it’s £26,000 A YEAR!!!!!
*slight orgasm sorry everyone*

I could do this job, I could ACE this job, I’m perfect for it,
give me the job, yess, yess, ahhhhhh, omg, omg, omg, omg
JOB ADVERTISMENT MEGA ORGASM…..

dammit, I need a qualification…

but I could do it……and I could do it really well.

[This is the part where I broke down, crying, snot,
it wasn’t pretty heaving with sorrow into my pillow,
with the inevitable *woe is me* speech, then getting the
angry face, you know that agression that creeps in,
the *f!ck no I’m better than this* agression, that insists
that you fight the system, stick it to the man,
bring down the house and generally sound like an epic fool…]

This is the genuine Cover Letter that I sent.
I omitted my real information in editing.
I sent this alongside my CV, to the dream job.

ScreenShot from the application form.

So please, anyone who reads my blog, anyone who likes it,
or follows me because of it take your hands and cross
those fingers for me, If your religious, pray for me,
If your a jedi, do some funky mind tricks..and if you
just so happen to be someone from RED GATE
please give me the job, I would work like a slave for you…

You’ve just got to give me a chance…

Cheers for Reading,

L.J x

i like my drinks dirrrrty!

Make your own version at home, you can add lime for a typical amaretto sour, or add a shot of sour cherry schnapps for a cheeky version that tastes just like bakewell tart!! I love Amaretto with Dr. Pepper too! enjoy folks! x

Get your tissues, Glasses of Wine, Boxes of Chocolates AND SOMEONE GET ME A VODKA!!!

I'm not a sniveling wreck ...... I PROMISE....

Proverbial Doughnuts and Everything…

Yes, that's really my face right there...mmm icing!

Ho Hum, Tweedelee Dum… Apologies first…

ImageWell hello everyone, first of all I just want to say a quite sorry for my delay as of late.  Ive been working on some new works inspired by my illustrator HERO Adam Isaac Jackson.  This is the piece of work ^^ that is causing me all this pain, its taking forever to complete I’ve got some serious editing to do to it once its drawn but thought i would give you all a little updateo!

Adam Isaac Jackson has been an idol of mine for years, ever since my G.C.S.E textiles days, it was him that shaped my style of design and my love for anything monochrome!  Alot of people like to argue that Adam copies this guy called Mike Giant who is also a fine procurer of this style of art.  Personally I’m in love with Adam’s pictures, and this one above here is my homage to him, its for an 8ft by 5ft canvas going in my bedroom its going to be epic, andddd it’s going to take forever but It makes for another entry to the Bucket List, “Make my bedroom a sanctuary – and it better be perfect” and “Complete an actual piece of art”.

Anyways again apologies for the lack of posty posts but I hope this little insight into me helps you to mourn the absence.

Muchos Love, L.J x

 

(P.S This image is copyrighted to me, If you want to use it for any reason please just ask first thats all I ask)