Weapons of Self-Doubt Destruction

believe_in_yourself_by_midnightadventures-d4nv4mj

Have you ever had one of those moments?
total silence…alone with your thoughts.
 

not in a negative way, just a random pause where not a single f*ck is being given, by you, at that very precise moment in time, not a single; worry, bother, thought, idea, solution, single damn f*ck is crossing your brain and its just quiet….I had one today I think it may have been an epiphany…

moiI should probably first reintroduce myself to the wordpress community, I am sad to say I have not been posting for a very long time.

Instagram kind of took over a little bit as it was easier to post whilst face deep in pillows, selfieing my new shade of “melted chocolate noir” hair dye that still won’t cover the red I put on it 2 years ago……hey ho we live to find the perfect shade!

I took  a little break from posting, the ‘apocalypse doomsday countdown’ kind of came and went, the world did not blow up into oblivion, and i carried on with life, got on with my new dayjob and it really took over my life.

I made some wonderful new friends, moved to a new home, became an aunty of a now 1 year old superbaby, loved, lost, got two new inked arms, alot happened and i sorta forgot to tell you.

It’s so odd coming back to a blog after such a long time, when you really get into it, start writing it every other day replying to people interested in the same things you are, I almost feel I have been cheating on wordpress it’s awful.  I suppose the reason I came back is that I ticked off a couple of really major ones on my list and at the same time lost my job last week.  I decided it was time to come home.

So now time is no excuse, hopefully I can bake you a macaroni cheese, make some margheritas, sit you all down and have a chit chat, I’ve got so much to tell you and not alot of space to do it in!!!

SO! FIRSTLY…..

When i stopped blogging, I became addicted to Instagram which leads me to my first update section, I’ve always raved about my obsessions here and I certainly have gained some new ones all because of someone I actually first started following here before i got married to my iphone.  When i began reading her blog The Wardrobe Challenge I didn’t have what you would call an ‘image’, in fact before I started writing my blog and reading others on here I didn’t really know much about myself at all really.  Reading Hanna’s posts encouraged me to start looking at myself differently even if that meant  just starting at my wardrobe.

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me...

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me…

It’s no secret to readers of my blog in the past that I suffer from the blues (I hate using the other word it seems so medical to me) but I found that by writing, not necessarily about my feelings but things i enjoyed and reveled in, it gave me a release for those blues, and reading other peoples journeys on here like Hanna’s really helped me to battle alot of self loathing I had felt for a very long time.
Along with the help of my amazing best friend Storm, (yes the superhero disguises are still on! ;P ) and following people like Hanna over this past year has helped me become a new much happier version of myself.

Hannah’s blog The Wardrobe Challenge actually led me to her Instagram blog ‘fattyschallenge’ it was actually through following Hanna that I started some of my new obsessions, instead of reading blogs I took a break and chose the picture books of Instagram.

It was there I found new inspiration in the amazing shapes of my Holy Trinity of Instagram obsessions.

Her Royal Highness, Miss Tess Munster.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I started following Tess through Hanna, I noticed one of her hashtags was…

#effyourbeautystandards.

clicking on the link I discovered this absolute knockout who really drove me to look at myself differently.

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful...

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful…

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

Tess is an amazing woman, not only does she work as a plus size model but she is an insanely awesome mother to the cutest little man around.

She rocks herself, and encourages others to do the same, whatever their size, race, hairstyle or age she encourages you to be happy for you not for others.

#effyourbeautystandards is a signal to stop trying to live up to others unrealistic expectations of how you should live your own life, its yours to live not theirs, if that leather skirt feels good on your body, and that crop makes you feel sexy, WEAR IT.  If your style is different to those around you, don’t hide away and change yourself to fit in, be what makes you happy, be WHO YOU WANT TO BE and be proud to be that.

Tess has opened my eyes to what is possible with my own body,

seeing her beautiful partner’s love for her and who she is shows me that love isn’t just for ‘perfect’ people because my idea of ‘perfect’ was totally distorted, following Tess has made me realise everyone is perfect, every single person that is living their life to the full is perfect and everyone, even me, deserves love.

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Tess pushes the boundaries of my mind and really makes me think about the person I want to be.  I’ve never much thought about my own identity, always been too bothered by “fitting in” that i often put myself on the outside and had the total opposite outcome compared to what i was wishing and praying for.

If you have Instagram, Facebook, the internet any of those things check Tess out even if its just to stare at the beauty herself but read some of her work, see how her presence in peoples lives has truly changed the thoughts and outlook of those people around the world, she saved me from remaining lost and helped me to take ownership of my own identity and not be scared what people will think of me, #effyourbeautystandards and live up to my own instead.

So who is next? Hmmmm, well I did say Holy Trinity didn’t I? so number two would be….

Honor Elizabeth Curves…

Again how do I even begin to describe this woman? this beacon?

What an absolute STAR

What an absolute STAR

this light to so many people…

Honor began another hashtag movement similar to that of Tess’s #effyourbeautystandards.

Honor’s movement #HonorMyCurves is a shoutout to all people, men and women alike to embrace their body at any size, thin and short, tall and large, medium and neither, Honor embraces everything she advocates, she is a 6ft2 pillar of beauty and is never afraid to go for an outfit that challenges her.

Just like Tess, Honor is a woman for the people, I have never posted something to her without a response, she encourages your journey as well as inviting you onto hers.

She’s a runner, and watching her progress through the different runs with her friends and family has been a joy and really made me take a second look at my exercise regime (psst I don’t have one!).

She also writes for SKORCHMagazine, bringing her own

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

individual sense of the world to so many through her writing and instagram posts, Honor really fights for her cause, tooth and nail.

Honor is an Instagram must have, her posts will brighten up your day and when you see how much this girl can run, BUOY!!! you wont want to stay on the sofa wallowing in self pity any longer, my holy trinity of “go getters” especially Honor have made me rethink how I view myself.

I’m not stuck in a hole, I’m not a condition, I’m not a disgrace or a mistake I AM LA LA SIMMS and I am proud to be who I am.  I can only thank these women for what they have done for me without even knowing it.

So, Drumroll please for my third and final woman of self-doubt destruction (I think it will make for a nice new hashtag #weaponofselfdoubtdestruction hmmm) I have definitely saved this person til last for a major reason.  When I first fled to Instagram I stumbled across this amazing woman who gave me a proverbial kick up the ass.  Her story is one of the most amazing versions of weight-loss stories I have ever heard, seen and followed.  Now, I must say I didn’t follow her  due to the fact that she lost weight.  I followed her because her courage, stamina and drive to better her life for the unforseeable future has inspired me.  So I can only bow down to her and introduce someone who has become my Instagram Hero…..

FAT2FLACA… 

A.K.A Janeida, a young, Puerto-Rican, Chicago Diva who underwent a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) on April 25, 2012.  Her journey is incredible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

I started following Janeida at the point where she had had the surgery and was already working out like a boss.  In the short time that i have been following her story I have grown to love her ‘eat clean’ recipes and tips to get started exercising not to lose weight but to be healthy.

Janeida now volunteers free cooking lessons in her local community to spread her message further than her own kitchen.  She also leads dance, exercise and zumba classes to encourage others to feel better about themselves in a safe and comfortable environment.
She’s gone past the point of enriching her own life and has stretched out her hands to the people around her and invited them into the struggle of her story and shown them that they too can make a change.

Her journey has inspired me not to shed the pounds necessarily, but to look at my lifestyle and recognise the unhealthy behaviours that I have managed to stick myself to.
Through Janeida I have found comfort in knowing its a JOURNEY

Beauty comes in all sizes...so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn't.

Beauty comes in all sizes…so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn’t.

you need to be on, nothing happens instantly and nothing happens without hard work and determination to change.
Again I repeat this is not just about losing weight it’s about acceptance.  It’s about fighting the demons of staying the same, staying unhappy, staying put in a cycle that never gives you results.  Make the change to be a better you, a happy you whatever that might mean.

Janeida and her beautiful wife have brought comfort to me over the past months, seeing true love as strong as theirs and the beauty they are as a couple has touched my heart and opened my mind to the idea that Love is a powerful thing and a love like theirs is truly special.

So, that wraps up my return to wordpress post.  

With many more to come and alot of new changes to the site it will take some time but I hope you can share in my Instagram love and shows these ladies some support.  My Holy trinity ‘Weapons of Self-doubt Destruction’ are worth a look and take a stroll round Hanna’s stuff too, she is afterall the reason I continued to follow her own blog and discover these beauties along the way.

Thanks for Reading,

La La Simms

Advertisements

The Meaning of Friendship

Sometimes, in life, when your sat in that moment, when your totally alone, it’s your truest friends that cross your mind…

Mark Twain once said, “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”  Throughout my life, there have been very dark moments of grief, moments that have seen me in the deepest of holes with nothing but my own hands to bring me out. At those moments, friends seem obsolete, friends seem to add more weight to already heavy hearts. Friends want to do so much for you, they want to help and bring you out of your sadness, but that weakened smile you return them always says the same thing, ‘Please, stop trying so hard’.

True friendship is defined as a natural reaction, to a feeling of unconditional love and ultimate support towards a person not of blood relation, in all areas of their life.  This is why, TRUE friends will take that weakened smile from you, turn around and make you a cup of tea, this is why TRUE friends can accept the worst of bad situations, and are willing to wait til the tides turn in your favour.

True friendship is like sitting inside a panic room, whilst the world spins out of control around you.  If  you watch children [in a non predatory totally innocent completely PC kind of way] they run around experiencing true friendship every moment of everyday.  They share and love so freely, they console without consideration of anything other than helping the hurt.  It’s only when we reach our teens that things get in the way of that pure sense of friendship, we start picking cliques, choosing styles, liking trends and well, growing up!  It’s only until you grow up some more that you realise, you kinda wish you were 5 again only arguing over who had the best sandwiches at lunchtime.

TIMON AND PUMBAA, THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Friends have always meant ‘family’ to me, friends have always been more than someone to go shopping with…

In later life [I know i’m only 22 (23 on Saturday though) but I have friends of all ages] I think friends become more important, you start realising that all those FRIENDS you thought you had are now a very carefully selected FAMILY.  A bunch of people who literally know you better than you do, yes mates come and go throughout your time on this doomed planet of ours, but friends, they taken time to craft, they take investment.  They become the people who have scraped you off the pub floor, slapped you when you’ve been an arsehole, told you to man up when your being petty, hugged you when you’ve messed up and taken care of you when you’ve needed it most.

True friends aren’t necessarily there every day like the ‘best friends’ of yester year, true friends can go months without talking, as long as when they do talk it’s like you spoke 10 minutes ago and you wonder why they are calling again.  True friends aren’t the people that need your attention 24/7/365…true friends, only when they really have to, send you a text to request your urgent presence.

It’s only until we’re old and wrinkly that we go back to that innocence of friendship, that time it doesn’t matter who you talk to, your just happy to be talking.  That time when you share and love freely again, and if you are clever enough to keep life long friends til this time in your life, you start to realise that these may be the last times you spend with them, so you go back to doing silly things together, reminiscing about old times and setting out on new adventures with friends old and new, it’s just like being 6 again, because there are no barriers again, no restrictions or constraints, your back in that panic room without a care in the world apart from being together.

ONLY TRUE FRIENDS CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS!! I ONCE SHRINK WRAPPED A FRIENDS BEDROOM AT UNIVERSITY WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND CATERING SIZED CLING FILM, NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS HYSTERICAL AND TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

So, I shall end this post with a little story, a modern fable if you will…

THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 BEERS 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. 

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between The golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed. 

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car. 

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into
the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on
the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. 

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend
time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents.  Enjoy being with your friends.

Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really 
matter.

Set your priorities.

‘The rest is just sand.’ 

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ 
The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’ 

And that my beauties, is The Meaning of Friendship.

Thank you for reading, I hope my post makes you think of your friends and who knows maybe you’ll send them a cheeky link to this to remind them that what you have is TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

Pick a Faith Any Faith…

“]

Sometimes mental health induced sleep deprivation can be a good thing... :

i like my drinks dirrrrty!

Make your own version at home, you can add lime for a typical amaretto sour, or add a shot of sour cherry schnapps for a cheeky version that tastes just like bakewell tart!! I love Amaretto with Dr. Pepper too! enjoy folks! x

Get your tissues, Glasses of Wine, Boxes of Chocolates AND SOMEONE GET ME A VODKA!!!

I'm not a sniveling wreck ...... I PROMISE....

Ho Hum, Tweedelee Dum… Apologies first…

ImageWell hello everyone, first of all I just want to say a quite sorry for my delay as of late.  Ive been working on some new works inspired by my illustrator HERO Adam Isaac Jackson.  This is the piece of work ^^ that is causing me all this pain, its taking forever to complete I’ve got some serious editing to do to it once its drawn but thought i would give you all a little updateo!

Adam Isaac Jackson has been an idol of mine for years, ever since my G.C.S.E textiles days, it was him that shaped my style of design and my love for anything monochrome!  Alot of people like to argue that Adam copies this guy called Mike Giant who is also a fine procurer of this style of art.  Personally I’m in love with Adam’s pictures, and this one above here is my homage to him, its for an 8ft by 5ft canvas going in my bedroom its going to be epic, andddd it’s going to take forever but It makes for another entry to the Bucket List, “Make my bedroom a sanctuary – and it better be perfect” and “Complete an actual piece of art”.

Anyways again apologies for the lack of posty posts but I hope this little insight into me helps you to mourn the absence.

Muchos Love, L.J x

 

(P.S This image is copyrighted to me, If you want to use it for any reason please just ask first thats all I ask)

Nothing like a nice bit of goo.. ;)

Just the thing to put on Ice Cream, Cake, Biscuits, a Man Friend?? 😉