Although my name is L.J, and my ‘stage name’ if you like is The Common tarte, today I am going to let you into a little known fact about me. For years now, Wonder Woman has called me something unique. A nickname that nobody else apart from R2D2, calls me any variation of.
And the name of choice? I hear you say? PandaPops.
Now yes, on occasion this is shortened to Pops, Pandy, Pandagirl (R2D2), PandaFace, Popsy, Poops [yes yes all very lovely] but all of these names got me to thinking today. When I woke up this morning I did my usual ritual, I looked at my phone making unexplicable noises as if it was in pain, I checked its vitals then promptly threw it at the wall. Thank the lord my blackberry is made of sturdier stuff! Then I nestled back into my pit that I call a bed, the beautiful squishy kingsize duvet, the abundance of schmooscie pillows that vary is size, stuffing and casing, my toes curled under the secondary patchwork blanket i have which in the mornings is deliciously cold, my head sinks underneath everything into a deep dark corner of the enveloping mass and as soon as my mouth falls open with glee, I’m asleep again, having now scuppered any chance of waking up on time as my wakey-uppy device (A.K.A THE BLACKBERRY) has now had a meeting with Mr.Wall and decided okay we’ll dismiss that alarm shall we? and my body is now enrobed in so much comfort there is really no need for me to wake up…ever….like EVER….
What has this got to do with the whole Panda nickname? I HEAR YOU CRYING whilst you sip your morning mochas!
Well, I realised this morning that I am infact a Human Panda! You may laugh, you may weep, but yes I am
A HUMAN PANDA
The facts are all there for anyone to see, when I wake up I have suspiciously large Black patches over my eyes, obviously this is not just the previous days make up smooshed around my face in my sleep THIS IS EVIDENCE OF PANDAFICATION!
My limbs are too short for my body which makes it really easy to curl up into a ball and sleeeep (PANDAFICATION)
I would much rather sleep then do anything else in the world (UTTER EVIDENCE OF PANDAFICATION)
and finally this is EXACTLY what I look like in the mornings…
Cheers for reading,