Weapons of Self-Doubt Destruction

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Have you ever had one of those moments?
total silence…alone with your thoughts.
 

not in a negative way, just a random pause where not a single f*ck is being given, by you, at that very precise moment in time, not a single; worry, bother, thought, idea, solution, single damn f*ck is crossing your brain and its just quiet….I had one today I think it may have been an epiphany…

moiI should probably first reintroduce myself to the wordpress community, I am sad to say I have not been posting for a very long time.

Instagram kind of took over a little bit as it was easier to post whilst face deep in pillows, selfieing my new shade of “melted chocolate noir” hair dye that still won’t cover the red I put on it 2 years ago……hey ho we live to find the perfect shade!

I took  a little break from posting, the ‘apocalypse doomsday countdown’ kind of came and went, the world did not blow up into oblivion, and i carried on with life, got on with my new dayjob and it really took over my life.

I made some wonderful new friends, moved to a new home, became an aunty of a now 1 year old superbaby, loved, lost, got two new inked arms, alot happened and i sorta forgot to tell you.

It’s so odd coming back to a blog after such a long time, when you really get into it, start writing it every other day replying to people interested in the same things you are, I almost feel I have been cheating on wordpress it’s awful.  I suppose the reason I came back is that I ticked off a couple of really major ones on my list and at the same time lost my job last week.  I decided it was time to come home.

So now time is no excuse, hopefully I can bake you a macaroni cheese, make some margheritas, sit you all down and have a chit chat, I’ve got so much to tell you and not alot of space to do it in!!!

SO! FIRSTLY…..

When i stopped blogging, I became addicted to Instagram which leads me to my first update section, I’ve always raved about my obsessions here and I certainly have gained some new ones all because of someone I actually first started following here before i got married to my iphone.  When i began reading her blog The Wardrobe Challenge I didn’t have what you would call an ‘image’, in fact before I started writing my blog and reading others on here I didn’t really know much about myself at all really.  Reading Hanna’s posts encouraged me to start looking at myself differently even if that meant  just starting at my wardrobe.

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me...

What a beauty, I can only thank you for the impact you have had on me…

It’s no secret to readers of my blog in the past that I suffer from the blues (I hate using the other word it seems so medical to me) but I found that by writing, not necessarily about my feelings but things i enjoyed and reveled in, it gave me a release for those blues, and reading other peoples journeys on here like Hanna’s really helped me to battle alot of self loathing I had felt for a very long time.
Along with the help of my amazing best friend Storm, (yes the superhero disguises are still on! ;P ) and following people like Hanna over this past year has helped me become a new much happier version of myself.

Hannah’s blog The Wardrobe Challenge actually led me to her Instagram blog ‘fattyschallenge’ it was actually through following Hanna that I started some of my new obsessions, instead of reading blogs I took a break and chose the picture books of Instagram.

It was there I found new inspiration in the amazing shapes of my Holy Trinity of Instagram obsessions.

Her Royal Highness, Miss Tess Munster.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I can only show you a snippet of how Tess effects people and brings them back to themselves.

I started following Tess through Hanna, I noticed one of her hashtags was…

#effyourbeautystandards.

clicking on the link I discovered this absolute knockout who really drove me to look at myself differently.

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful...

She looks like an oil painting, truly beautiful, crazy hella beautiful…

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

I want to motorboat this woman so badly!!!

Tess is an amazing woman, not only does she work as a plus size model but she is an insanely awesome mother to the cutest little man around.

She rocks herself, and encourages others to do the same, whatever their size, race, hairstyle or age she encourages you to be happy for you not for others.

#effyourbeautystandards is a signal to stop trying to live up to others unrealistic expectations of how you should live your own life, its yours to live not theirs, if that leather skirt feels good on your body, and that crop makes you feel sexy, WEAR IT.  If your style is different to those around you, don’t hide away and change yourself to fit in, be what makes you happy, be WHO YOU WANT TO BE and be proud to be that.

Tess has opened my eyes to what is possible with my own body,

seeing her beautiful partner’s love for her and who she is shows me that love isn’t just for ‘perfect’ people because my idea of ‘perfect’ was totally distorted, following Tess has made me realise everyone is perfect, every single person that is living their life to the full is perfect and everyone, even me, deserves love.

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Total babe, her style is on point and she just is one of those people i really want to have a cocktail with!

Tess pushes the boundaries of my mind and really makes me think about the person I want to be.  I’ve never much thought about my own identity, always been too bothered by “fitting in” that i often put myself on the outside and had the total opposite outcome compared to what i was wishing and praying for.

If you have Instagram, Facebook, the internet any of those things check Tess out even if its just to stare at the beauty herself but read some of her work, see how her presence in peoples lives has truly changed the thoughts and outlook of those people around the world, she saved me from remaining lost and helped me to take ownership of my own identity and not be scared what people will think of me, #effyourbeautystandards and live up to my own instead.

So who is next? Hmmmm, well I did say Holy Trinity didn’t I? so number two would be….

Honor Elizabeth Curves…

Again how do I even begin to describe this woman? this beacon?

What an absolute STAR

What an absolute STAR

this light to so many people…

Honor began another hashtag movement similar to that of Tess’s #effyourbeautystandards.

Honor’s movement #HonorMyCurves is a shoutout to all people, men and women alike to embrace their body at any size, thin and short, tall and large, medium and neither, Honor embraces everything she advocates, she is a 6ft2 pillar of beauty and is never afraid to go for an outfit that challenges her.

Just like Tess, Honor is a woman for the people, I have never posted something to her without a response, she encourages your journey as well as inviting you onto hers.

She’s a runner, and watching her progress through the different runs with her friends and family has been a joy and really made me take a second look at my exercise regime (psst I don’t have one!).

She also writes for SKORCHMagazine, bringing her own

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

Take a moment to check out her page, its inspirational posts like this that have, at times, kept me going on my own journey.

individual sense of the world to so many through her writing and instagram posts, Honor really fights for her cause, tooth and nail.

Honor is an Instagram must have, her posts will brighten up your day and when you see how much this girl can run, BUOY!!! you wont want to stay on the sofa wallowing in self pity any longer, my holy trinity of “go getters” especially Honor have made me rethink how I view myself.

I’m not stuck in a hole, I’m not a condition, I’m not a disgrace or a mistake I AM LA LA SIMMS and I am proud to be who I am.  I can only thank these women for what they have done for me without even knowing it.

So, Drumroll please for my third and final woman of self-doubt destruction (I think it will make for a nice new hashtag #weaponofselfdoubtdestruction hmmm) I have definitely saved this person til last for a major reason.  When I first fled to Instagram I stumbled across this amazing woman who gave me a proverbial kick up the ass.  Her story is one of the most amazing versions of weight-loss stories I have ever heard, seen and followed.  Now, I must say I didn’t follow her  due to the fact that she lost weight.  I followed her because her courage, stamina and drive to better her life for the unforseeable future has inspired me.  So I can only bow down to her and introduce someone who has become my Instagram Hero…..

FAT2FLACA… 

A.K.A Janeida, a young, Puerto-Rican, Chicago Diva who underwent a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) on April 25, 2012.  Her journey is incredible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

What an absolute stunner!! Janeida you are so beautiful, watching your transformation has brought light to my dark days and shown me that anything is possible.

I started following Janeida at the point where she had had the surgery and was already working out like a boss.  In the short time that i have been following her story I have grown to love her ‘eat clean’ recipes and tips to get started exercising not to lose weight but to be healthy.

Janeida now volunteers free cooking lessons in her local community to spread her message further than her own kitchen.  She also leads dance, exercise and zumba classes to encourage others to feel better about themselves in a safe and comfortable environment.
She’s gone past the point of enriching her own life and has stretched out her hands to the people around her and invited them into the struggle of her story and shown them that they too can make a change.

Her journey has inspired me not to shed the pounds necessarily, but to look at my lifestyle and recognise the unhealthy behaviours that I have managed to stick myself to.
Through Janeida I have found comfort in knowing its a JOURNEY

Beauty comes in all sizes...so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn't.

Beauty comes in all sizes…so true, beautiful then and beautiful now, the body may have changed but the person inside and the smile on your face hasn’t.

you need to be on, nothing happens instantly and nothing happens without hard work and determination to change.
Again I repeat this is not just about losing weight it’s about acceptance.  It’s about fighting the demons of staying the same, staying unhappy, staying put in a cycle that never gives you results.  Make the change to be a better you, a happy you whatever that might mean.

Janeida and her beautiful wife have brought comfort to me over the past months, seeing true love as strong as theirs and the beauty they are as a couple has touched my heart and opened my mind to the idea that Love is a powerful thing and a love like theirs is truly special.

So, that wraps up my return to wordpress post.  

With many more to come and alot of new changes to the site it will take some time but I hope you can share in my Instagram love and shows these ladies some support.  My Holy trinity ‘Weapons of Self-doubt Destruction’ are worth a look and take a stroll round Hanna’s stuff too, she is afterall the reason I continued to follow her own blog and discover these beauties along the way.

Thanks for Reading,

La La Simms

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I’m feelin’ kinda Trend-day. . .

I love seeking new trends, watching the sidelines for little things that I find cool and quirky.  My ‘trends’ are no normally everyone’s cup of tea, but I definitely think that I have some understanding of my own taste at least.

Some days like today, I wake up and I get that nesting feeling, that feeling that I’m actually kinda bored of living with my parent’s.  Now let me first say, I love living at home.  [to my Mum, I love home!] But there is a part of me that cannot wait to wake up in my own little house, and to decorating.  I’m a decorating fiend!  So here are a few little trends from me, floating round my little designy-eco-system/brain.  I hope you enjoy and all pictures were found on random searches on Google [or etsy].

#1 Kitchen Trend
– I’m feeling Mellow, Yellow…

#2 Living Room

– I love the idea, of bright white spaces mixed with brightly coloured ornaments, I would love to coat an alcove in flse grass, then using cardboard and rcycled material pad out a landscape for all these guys to hang out in, it would made interesting 3D artwork, and a fun place for my future niece or nephew to share playtime 🙂

#4 Awkward Spaces
– Why not invest in a bookcase?

#4 Bedroom Beautiful
– I’m desperate for somewhere tranquil!

I’d love to just have the money right now to really create a beautiful paradise for my bedroom.  I love these deisgns here, and think they are bang on trend right now, with comfortable fabrics, and a really chilled out vibe.  Fresh colours and simple designs make the best bedrooms in my opinion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that my darlings, is my little slice of flat-brooding design.  I hope you enjoyed it, it’s certainly cheering me up as I have a throat infection right now, attractive huh?!  All this window shopping on the net is really making me feel better……

maybe not 😛 I NEED SCATTER CUSHIONS!

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms x

Here Comes the Sun, Do-Dun-Do-Do…

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter …
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here”

. . . . . . . . . Sun is Shining. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .Weather is sweet. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . Makes ya wanna move. . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . Ya dancin’ feet . . . . . .  . . . . . . .

The COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER has already begun, but recently us Brits have been having a test run.  With average temperatures reaching 23C in some places this past week, we have been livin’it up and basquing in the sunshine before the clouds rain and SNOW arrive next week.  With this in mind, and friends down this weekend it got me to thinking about all the things I love about summertime.  Now I’m a self confessed Fall/Autumn Bird!! I love big chunky knits, scarves, hats, jumpers, big thick jeans and my Ugg boots.  I’m not a massive fan of sun dresses and an awful lack of wooly tights!!

Although my moaning suggests I hate every single thing about the summer, there is an awful lot that I actually love about the summer months that I’m going to share with all of you today!…

♥ WATERMELON ♥

Oh my b-jeseee-juu-juuu-juicee!!..I LOVE WATERMELON, but I can only eat in in summer, fresh chopped up it’s refreshing as icy cool air and packs serious punches in smoothies and sorbets!! Classic contender for fruit salads and cocktail fish bowls all summer long, crack one of these out at a BBQ and no one will be complaining.

♥ NO SHOES ♥

Yes you heard me correct, I’m a no shoes girlie!! Some people find it weird, me? I love it!! No socks, crack out the old pedicure set, get buffing and polishing and get them little piggies out for all to see.  There is nothing better than wiggling your naked little toes in fresh mown grass, clean dusty sand or the cold water of the pond!

♥ SWIMMING [and floating] ♥

I love pools in the summer, going swimming in the winter always feels useless to me, you get in cold, you get out freezing, and wet, now you go out to your car and your frozen, icy, and still cold.  In the summer you get out the pool on holiday and the warm sun dries your skin gently, as your arm gets some much needed exercise lifting that 4th Mojito up and down and up and down, it’s the perfect exercise routine during those short lived summer moments.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ SUMMER ROMANCES ♥ ♥ ♥

Aren’t they just the best?  The rush of sneaking around, being cheeky, finding that magical someone on holiday who totally gets you and then the inevitable tragedy of returning to grey and stormy Britain and sitting by your window rembering how he sang that last song to you at Karaoke and the whole crowd at Butlin’s totally loved it!  He’s not your ‘usual’ type, but Ibiza helped you find him.  You wouldn’t normally ‘date’ a guy called Bertie, but the Gran Canaries allowed you to see past a name.  And you would NEVER sleep with a guy on a first date, but in Zante, every bar is a different date rightt???? well then we’ve been on 7!

Summer romance is the best, totally guilt free possibly teenage soul destroyingly beautiful romance!!

 ♥ GARDEN PARTIES ♥

 Oh my crystal balls, I love garden parties…paper plates, paper lanterns, paper cups, paper streamers, paper napkins Maybe it’s just the paper I like??  No, seriously, the atmosphere of a garden party, especially a British Garden Party is second to none!! Crack out the cider, get the sausage rolls sorted and bang on some Bob Marley, and summer has arrived!! Making sure there is sufficient cover from baking sun and nasty clouds and popping up fairy lights to lighten the dark when the sun comes down but the party continues!!  Eating Al Fresco, and having water fights in the summer sun! Marvellous!

 

NOW, NEXT UP IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SUMMER PLACES!

♥ BRIGHTON ♥

Brighton is one of those places that excites me as soon as I see the first sign for Lewes from Tunbridge Wells.  When me and Wonder Woman, are racing down the motorway knowing when we get there, the arcades are calling, the doughnuts are frying, the chips are being chipper and the lanes are calling us in with their lilting magic.  Brighton is the perfect summer place to be, especially in the lanes.  You feel like your in a different world when your shopping down there, with a smoothie in one hand and a bespoke cookie in the other you can be there for hours, then skipping down onto the sunsetted beach watching the old wreck drift off to sleep as the new pier comes alive with swirling rides and flashing lights, oh to be a Brighton Dweller…

 ♥ P.Y.O ♥

Being a Kentish girl, nothing excites me more than when the Pick Your Own signs start to pop up around the county.  The workers start to set up little stalls in the local laybys selling the freshest strawberries, raspberries and cherries that money can buy.  All the fruit that’s not ‘perfect’ enough for Tescos and the like, come straight into our homes down here in Kent and we are lucky lucky lucky!!  Kentish Strawberries, need no sugar, no cream NOTHING, just a bag filled to the brim and my own hand for picking them up and I’m in heaven!  

♥PIMMS’O’CLOCK♥

This is a magical time of day.  You don’t know about it?  Really?  Well let me tell you all about it.  Pimms’o’clock is a magical time of day where it becomes totally acceptable to start drinking large pitchers of this fabulously summery aperitif!  If you’ve never had pimms you gotts try it especially in the summer.  Top a large amounth up with lemonade and ramm it full of cucumber, mint, strawberries and oranges tonnes of ice and enjoy!!  The simplest, easiest way to get nicely merry on a summer’s eve!

~♥~ HOT AIR BALLOONS ~♥~

When I was a child, my Grampy and my Mum used to take me to a Balloon festival every other year or so.  It used to amaze me the different shapes, sizes, being able to see them so close fireing up the fires and filling the vast canopies with hot thick air, the basket gently lifting off the flattened grass and the excited passengers leaping inside.  When I see a Hot Air Balloon, I instantly drift of to being in the back of my Grampy’s car, driving somewhere and spotting one out the window in a dusky light driving back from my Great-Grandparents house.  I would see the balloon and tell my Gramps who would tell me to follow it till it flies over the bump…[the bump being the horizon]….they were always so fun to watch and track across the skies, a lovely summery memory!!

♥ DRESSING LIKE A HIPPY ‘COS IT’S FASHION ♥

I love this about Summer.  Now my Mumma dresses like a hippy all year round, me, I have to restrict it to the summertime, when the boho shades and long beach dusted hairstyles come back in.  The giant canvas bags, the calming pastels set against the bright whites and mellow taupes.  SUMMER comes alive in fashion and it’s the one time of year I find myself really having to FIND things to wear, but I love it, I buy a few key pieces and just mix’em’up Gok Wan stylee!!

One of the places where this one becomes like no other, and I dress only for comfort and comfort alone and that is…

♥ WOMAD ♥ 

The Womad festival is in this country for a mere 5 days at the end of July and everytime I’m getting ready to go, come rain or shine I know summer has well and truly begun!  This is the Siam Tent at Womad, it is beyond describing, nothing like eating hot churros in here!!

 ♥ BBQ’S BAYBEE ♥

Ain’t nothing summery without a BBQ!  I love to be inventive with my BBQs though, I love doing my chicken wings and burgers and hotdogs etc, but I love going to town and doing seafood skewers, lamb koftas, ribs, corn on the cob, baked potatoes stuffed with cream cheese and chives, my world famous potato salad, and my legendary Guacamole courtesy of my awesome cousin in Minneapolis!

Remember, BBQ’s ain’t nothing without BEER!

♥ROADTRIPPING♥

Is there anything better.  Than, jumping out of bed and packing a bag, stuffing it full of random mismatched clothes, grabbing a bottle of pop from the shop and leaping into a friend’s car and going for a drive?  To the  beach, to the park, to the lakes, to the forest, to…anywhere really!!

 FREEZE-POPS AND ICE-CREAM ♥ 

When it’s really hot, like so hot that you forget about wearing make up, you pull all your hair on top of your head so nothing touches your skin, you wear the lightest cotton clothes and the thinnest sandals and its just super hot.  Can you remember what it’s like, to open that freezer unit chocca-block full of ice cream and freezepops and ice lollies….It’s heaven!  I think my favourites HAD to be mini-milks! never chocolate always vanilla or strawberry!  When I remember them, they were the perfect combo of creamy ice cream and a freeze pop, they were 15p back in the day and totally AWESOME!

♥ SHADY PLACES AND SUNSET ♥ 

There’s a certain smell at this time of day in the summer.  It’s almost hazy, like plants and sea air and forests all mixed into one.  Like the random smell when a ladybird lands on your cheek, sorta mixed with the smell of hot rain on the tarmac, and a lingering of firewood.  Shady places under trees and next to walls are always interesting, little lines of ants making their way to the picnics, flowers growing in the cracks of walls and tiny birds taking a restful nap in the trees.

♥ MASSIVE SUNGLASSES ♥ 

AWESOME FASHION!! LOVE THEM!! Theres alot of aspects of summer that you kind of want to hide from teh rest of the world.  Big baggy eyes where you partied really hard at the weekend, sunburnt cheeks from the beach trip with the girls, peeling forehead where you caught the sun a bit too much, last night’s makeup up after a cheeky little flingo!!

 ♥ ICED TEA…………
……..Iced Tea……….
…………..ICED TEA ♥

My mum and I have a slight obsession with Iced Tea.  1.  It has to be LIPTON! 2. Mango sucks, Peach is okay, Lemon is the best.  3.  It must be served in a stemmed glass almost like a very large brandy glass, with lots of Ice, a Straw and by a delightful belgian waiter at Café De La Paix in Poperinge Belgium.  If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, and this combination quite simply will never be broke!!  Oh, and a stay at Talbot House is always best.

♥ MEADOWS, GARDENS AND OTHER GREEN STUFF ♥

I’m not much of a countryside person, for someone who essentially lives in the countryside.  I’m not a fan of bugs, I don’t like walking through fields and I hate the idea of being chased by a fox or other wildlife.  When summer hits town, I love going out with my brother for long walks around the raspberry fields and through the woods, it’s always a laugh and when we go with Wonder Woman and Ruby the dog it’s so funny watching her want to sprint off whilst we are all lagging behind!

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST..

The best thing about summer??  The ultimate most awesome thing about a few random weeks of patchy sunshine, searing heat then freezing rain?? What I hear you scream is the best thing about an english summer???  It’s the people!  It’s being on the beach flying kites, it’s yelling at the outside tv’s that aren’t loud enough over the roar of the fans drinking outside whilst the pub stays silent, it’s clubbing with your mates and coming home to daylight at 5am, It’s helping your step-gran out at the local church fete, making cakes and treats to be served with tea, it’s the refreshing taste of orange squash after hating it all winter and enjoying it in massive jugs after a mammoth water fight….Summer, sun, long days, and longer weeks make for an amazing summer, and it’s the people that make it, nothing else matter’s really.

Hope you enjoyed this,

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,

L.J.Simms ♥

I don’t wear Lipstick but if I did…

I WOULD WANT THEM TO LOOK LIKE THESE BEAUTIFUL DESIGNS…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This last one is my favourite, I love the sharpness, the detail and the texture in the paint is awesome!! Much prefer it on a canvas on my wall though instead of on my ACTUAL lips.

Normal blogging will resume tonight orrrr maybe tomorrow,

Happy blogging, Cheers for Reading,,

L.J x

Ho Hum, Tweedelee Dum… Apologies first…

ImageWell hello everyone, first of all I just want to say a quite sorry for my delay as of late.  Ive been working on some new works inspired by my illustrator HERO Adam Isaac Jackson.  This is the piece of work ^^ that is causing me all this pain, its taking forever to complete I’ve got some serious editing to do to it once its drawn but thought i would give you all a little updateo!

Adam Isaac Jackson has been an idol of mine for years, ever since my G.C.S.E textiles days, it was him that shaped my style of design and my love for anything monochrome!  Alot of people like to argue that Adam copies this guy called Mike Giant who is also a fine procurer of this style of art.  Personally I’m in love with Adam’s pictures, and this one above here is my homage to him, its for an 8ft by 5ft canvas going in my bedroom its going to be epic, andddd it’s going to take forever but It makes for another entry to the Bucket List, “Make my bedroom a sanctuary – and it better be perfect” and “Complete an actual piece of art”.

Anyways again apologies for the lack of posty posts but I hope this little insight into me helps you to mourn the absence.

Muchos Love, L.J x

 

(P.S This image is copyrighted to me, If you want to use it for any reason please just ask first thats all I ask)